Hello there, angel from my nightmare.

2006-06-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

.Melodic.Nocturne.

http://melodicnocturne.blogspot.com

Say hi to the new blog. I'm leaving this one.

2006-06-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

.Comet.Cloud.

Mm. I feel faint.

....uh. Yeah. Once again, I gave up on LJ, and made a new Blogger account. Unfortunately, the skin has yet to be done, (too much work for moi.) so I won't give you the URL yet.

I was planning a sort of plain kind of destructive skin. But..eh, you'll see when it's done.

Oh, and I'm under an alias next time. 'Cause nagging ain't nice, ya?

Huff. No, I'm serious. I feel faint.

Can't go back to sleep, I missed South Park, I didn't get to finish Drawn Together (I know it's explicit, so shut up), and...wah. I'm constipated. :(

Tsk. Complete opposite, actually, but who bothers with the details, ya?

I'm dehydrated as of this moment. *goes to drink some water*

I say 'ya' too much these days. Actually, I don't say it. I think it. Yup. After saying a random sentence, I suddenly think it. Example:

"Badgers stole my vitamins." ya.

Maybe I'm part Swedish. Probably not since I laugh at kilts. I have failed my native country! *sobcrywailmoan* I just can't wear a plaid skirt.

Oh, no...wait, I have been wearing one for the past 9 years for 10 months of each year, not counting weekends. Does that count?

If it does, just call me Inga Yohanisburg. Or is that Alps-ish? Myeeeh.

Uhm. I just can't get past Wonderland in KH:CoM. I always end up needing cards 8+, which is hard to obtain, mind you. I gave up on Olympia.

I'm sorry Hercules, you'll have to wait until I'm done with dear Alice. Unless I go to Halloween Town.

I should really try to get some sleep now. So at least, if I faint, uhm..I'd be asleep. Eh. Good logic, ya?

...Oh, and on a different note, my dad for the past week has been a complete ASS. (+ all the other HTML emphasis)

You don't just yell at my mother just because you didn't get to eat squid, you...you ass.

And screw that it's your anniversary today. I didn't get you a gift. *points and laughs*

2006-05-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

.Eyes.Shut.Wide.

....He's alive.

He's fucking alive.

I'd be bouncing around the room and screaming, but I'm too tired because I've been saying it over and over in my head.

And I can't breathe very well at the moment, so screaming would be a bad idea.

But there he is, in all his glory. Alive.

And one more thing. This blog has reached 60+ posts. It's around this time that I just archive everything and start a new blog.

This is my 3rd official blog.

I'm already fixing my new Livejournal, and it won't be ready for a while.

The most that will happen is that I'll end up rarely posting here, and/or change the layout. Because frankly, I'm bored with this one.

So..yeah. If you must know, my first off blog was in Friendster until I got sick of waiting and the thing crashed. I think it reached 70 posts over 6 months. 2nd was Gazingatthestars.blogspot. I changed the layout to an MCR one just for the player, so you won't see my posts or anything.

3rd is this. But actually, I've had a few LiveJournals before. I forgot what made me switch.

2006-05-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

.Sit.By.Fear.

We went to the zoo yesterday. It was fairly fun. I touched everything except the primates and the squirrels. Oh well. Oh, and the snakes, because it was raining and they get cold easily.

I have loads of pictures because I was hyperactive. Right now, I'm just too lazy to post them.

Uhm...and Monica had this strange dream that we were someplace that kind of looks like school, but wasn't, because it turned out co-ed. So we (I was in the dream, too!) were friends with two guys, one I named Kenny, and a girl. All of which, we don't know in real life.

According to her, her dream kept cutting.

So around the start, we met a ghost and we stole something from the Grim Reaper in order to make the ghost's soul rest.

So Grim was chasing us around when a truck hit him. So we lost him.

Next was some girl who was in an over-sized white tshirt, full of holes as if speared, and all bloody. Eh. Sadako-ish, I guess, only you can see the face. No one familiar, tho.

We ran for our lives. So when we opened the door, we suddenly were at the mini-theatre. So other ghosts suddenly came along with the girl and started killing everyone.

But not us, we were just surrounded.

I think that's when she woke up.

Hm. Blame scary novels, eh?

2006-05-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

.I.Got.So.Old.Just.Wondering.How.

Who can say that two people are like two drops of water?

I can't.

And I'm not about to explain.

Though Grace knows.

2006-05-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

.Just.One.More.Time.Is.Enough.

Tsk.

I know I'm bipolar. I don't see anything wrong with it. I've sometimes come across people who say it like it's bad, like an insult.

They're idiots. I'm just being alive here, nothing else.

Pfft.

Anyway, erasing what had happened the past week, I'm rejuvenated. Mostly because I downloaded a ton of songs.

Naaawww..*waves hands* not the usual stuff you know I listen to. Well, not just that.

Yu-Gi-Oh's Overlap and Eyes are two damn pretty songs. And Chiisana Uta from Yakitate Japan. Ooh, ooh, plus For All Tha Dreamers!

Mwahah.

Eeee. *shudders in giddyness* Yami No Matsuei!

I downloaded Amethyst Rememberance (I actually like the whole Kabuki-like sound), Boundless Love, Eden (*giggles*) and Love Me.

Hee.

So later, when it's not 5 in the morning, I'm going to call Monica and whine to her on why I can't find any kinky RyouxBaku-chan ficcies.

Oh, and proudly play Chiisana Uta over the phone.

She practically commanded me to download it and find the lyrics.

Which I did. Haw. Bow to meh.

Overlap's (YGO) English translation is pretty. *nods*

Oh damn, the sun's up. *grumbles* Go back down, sun! I hate you. *pouts at the sun*

I'm hyper. I dun wanna sleep yet. And I feel like being cute. Like 'Yo-chan!! *tacklehugs him* Come back to me, Yo-chan! My obsession hasn't faded yet!

Tsk.

Goal: to memorize the Romanji lyrics of Eyes, Chiisa Uta and Overlap. *hardness* Then gloat to Monica over the phone.

Yeah. We do that. We don't mind, because we're used to it. If one of us has something nice, we brag over the phone until someone gets annoyed.

Which is usually me.

...

Ooh, ooh! Look! Penguins!

2006-05-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

.Please.Don't.Get.Me.Rescued.

I've had it. Really.

I thought that everything would be fine, and it was, but then I realized what big of a possibility that it might come back.

I don't want it to come back.

So instead, I'm leaving it.

Oh, and FYI, I vote Taylor Hicks for American Idol. Screw McPhee.

2006-05-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

.Cold.And.Raw.The.North.Wind.Doth.Blow.

I...oh shit.

I dunno. I'm messed up. Damn it.

I'm confused, I'm a little scared, and I'm...oh fuck.

I don't get anything anymore, okay? I can't understand anything, either. I dunno what to say, and I'm clueless on how to explain.

So sod off...please.

2006-05-09T04:04:00.000-07:00

.Ooh!.Mangoes!.

Coooooool~

So I was talking to Monica on the phone while we were playing Sims2 University. I got sick of playing so I said that I wanted to got to the internet.

But in order to go to the internet, I had to plug a cable from the computer to the phone line, since I took unplugged it last night.

So when I took out a cable, suddenly, the phone went dead (the one me and Monica were talking through), when I remembered, 'shit, I'm still using the phone line.'

When I called Monica back, she said that she was thinking about calling me back.

She said she picked up her phone from the reciver to call me back, and not to answer the phone, because there wasn't even a ring yet.

SO THAT MEANS: I called her at the same time as she picked up the phone, so when she was wondering why there wasn't a dial tone, my voice suddenly came up and said 'hello?'

Woooooow. Me and Monica do things at the same time. Really cool.

That reminds me of the other thing, some time ago.

We were bored, so we decided to play Spin-The-Bottle. But since we were only talking through phone, how can that be?

We decided to take a shot anyway.

So when we spun the mental-bottle, we both said at the same time, "it landed on Neji!" And it's like we have the same brains.

Also, just a while ago, we were watching Yu-Gi-Oh, and everytime Thief King Bakura comes up, I scream. So I didn't even know it, but a second before Bakura comes up, she screams "Here it comes!"

Whee.

Aaaahh. And everytime Sesshomaru comes up in Inu Yasha, we scream at the same time and with the same words. "Waaa! Sesshomaru!!"

Eek. Sometimes it's creepy.

But we accept the fact that we both have the same mental paterns. *nods*

The title for today is from Yakitate!Japan. Today's episode REALLY made my perverted-ness bubble up.

*whines* Becauuuuse. A shot of that guy from CMAP came, and he was doing something with his hands.

Then came 3 shots of Kazuma, Shigeru (!!!!), and Kyosuke, half-naked, sweaty and blushing.

No DUH am I going to be green. Turns out, the guy from CMAP is acupuncturing them. I dunno if I spelled that right, and I don't really care.

Ooh. And during those shots, me and Monica were watching so we were both laughing our asses off through the phone.

XD

2006-05-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

.The.Light.Doesn't.Make.Sense.

I'm not in the best mood today. Actually, more like right now. A while ago, I was fine, I think. Couldn't really remember.

I'm even lower than the depression part when you have lots of periods like this: ........................

Nope. I just feel hopeless.

I feel as if there's so little I can do with my life. And I think I want to do something so horribly bad that it's depressing me, even if I know it's virtually impossible.

By the laws of the damn world, it's impossible.

I hate it. Absolutely hate it. I...I don't know. I just...I think I gone mental. It sucks.

*sighs*

I think the point of me wanting this whole huge ass impossible wish is that I want my life to be more interesting.

I'm bored with it. I mean, just an hour ago or so, mom got off the computer after using up 3 hours, ONLY CHECKING, DELETING AND REPLYING to a few of her mail.

Rarrrrrggghhhh.....

So I ended up watching half of Princess Diaries 2, and Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind. I like ESOASM...it's really nice. Fuzzy, but nice.

*sighs* Absolutely nothing interesting is happening with my life.

The days literally drag by, and I fucking hate it.

I mean, I glanced at the clock once, it said 10pm and I played Guitar Hero to pass the time. When I was done, it was only 10:30...what the damn fuck?

The days are so slooooow.

And I think that the only semi-interesting thing I'm going to do for the whole week is to go to Luisa's birthday party on Saturday...

*whines* But it's only Sundaaaayyyy...! *whines more*

2006-05-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

.Your.Friends.Are.Laughing.At.Us.

*does a victory dance* Mwahahaha!

It started with my mom randomly telling me about the strongest and weakest hands in Poker (yeah, the card game). Then she said that she will tell my dad to play after dinner with the two of us.

You probably know what happened at the end, but I'll tell anyway.

When my dad explained things before dinner, I kind of got annoyed, because I couldn't understand a thing he's saying.

So when we were playing after dinner, I was always "Okay, what am I going to do now?" or "What? Why?" or the infamous "Uhhhhh..."

So I lost the first 3 matches, and dad was getting all my and mom's chips (*evil glare*). I was actually getting fed up with the whole thing.

Because, come on, be honest. Games are more fun if you're winning. I'm no different.

But anyway, after I randomly sketched the Pilsbury Dough Boy getting angry that he's losing on a pad I had beside me, the 4th match was being played.

And hey, I won.

I won a few more times after that, also mom, then dad, too. I bluff alot. Pfft.

But ever since me and mom started playing, we aimed for one BEAUTIFUL deal where someone would go 'All-In' with their chips, and into the pot.

So we constantly hope for a damn pretty hand.

We promised that we'd stop at 12:30am (yeah...midnight. *headslap*). But the next time we checked the watch, it was 12:40 already.

Then my dad said that we'd do the last 3 deals.

Righteous.

So my dad dealt first.

A King, a Queen, a 10, a 9, and a 5 were down. I had a 10 and a 4, I think.

So I'm like, "....I could so get a Straight from this." Then I suddenly paused, then said "All In!"

Since only me and dad were playing (mom quit a deal back), and I said 'All In', he had to put all in his, too. But only to the same amount as my pile.

So I had 685 worth. He put 685 to the pot, with 45 left.

So when he put down a four, which I also had, I decided to tease him and put my four down. Then followed by my 10.

It took him a few seconds, but he then said, "Heh, you win." Mom was clapping and laughing.

Woot. *more victory dance, as I put my arms around the big chip pile and pull it all to my side* Mwahahahaha.

Actually, somewhere in the middle of the game, a few deals or so back, dad won a round. He took the pot and got up to smoke while someone else was dealer.

But he left out a small pile I had in front of me, which was supposed to be a bet.

And I'm slowly pulling the pile back to my stash. Mom saw it and started laughing like crazy. And so did I.

But dad saw it. Boo.

Anywhooo~so I won the whole damn thing with 1505 worth of chips, mom had 800, and dad had 110. We all started with 850. Mwahahaha. BOW DOWN AT ME.

And it's really my first time actually playing Poker.

Man, I'm good. I'm so going to start watching the World Poker Tournament on TV (some guy had a spectacular loss once. It was even amazing to me).

Too bad we weren't giving real money. Damn it all. *growls*

Oh, and the reason why I haven't been on much? Alright, I'll be honest.

I just feel as if I don't have anything to look forward to on the internet anymore. Nothing to feel excited about.

Eh. It happened to me and Gaia. Too bad eh. *shrugs*

2006-05-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

.C'mon.Kick.The.Beat!.

*hyperventilates* Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breath out. Crap, Ria, get a hold of yourself!

It started with a misspelling. I pointed Kat's YM status that it should be spelled as 'Shigure'. Then she saw my avatar, Momiji. So we started talking about Furuba.

Then she said, "Akito and Shigure are going to be together...I can't accept it." And I'm like, "I know there are alot of yaoi hints (Aya's fault!), but I didn't know there was really yaoi."

Then she said, "No, Akito is really a girl."

And then I said, (warning: long long rant).....

"WTF. WTF?!?!?!? WHHYYYYYY??!? But the flat chest and everything!! Is anyone surprised besides Tohru? wtffffffffff. WTFFFF?! But Tohru first thought he was a guy? I'm not DREAMING?! Omigoooood, I liked hiiiiim. omfg how did you know?!? Wtf. I'm going to google it to make sure...."

After googleing it and seeing a translation of Chapter 98...

"SHIT. It's true. Shiiiiiiiit."

Afterwhich, I read the translations for chapter 99 (Akito's mom is such a whore!) and 100. Kind of weird and such a rollercoaster.

Anyway, after I got sick of seeing the name, I decided to google Kureno Souma. He's the chickeeeeeeen/bird. Wheeeee. I've been dying to find out ever since 2 years ago. I'm damn serious.

And then I decided to google Rin Sohma. Oh man, I'm so SMART.

With my last obsession of FB, I bought book 9 of the manga. I saw a girl with choppy bangs, and long black hair called Rin. I assumed from the very start that she was the horse.

It seemed so matchign to her personality.

And I'm right after confirmation at 2 years later! Wheee.

Rawwwwr.

2006-05-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

.Aisubeki.Love.And.Life.

How would you feel if you were forgotten by someone you cared about? But when s/he didn't forget about you, you were called an ugly monster. And in order to make him/her feel better, s/he will have to forget about you.

When you were forgotten, it did make that someone better. But...how about you? When you see that someone around, you still remember the memories you two shared, but the other doesn't.

Sometimes it'll make you wonder, did forgetting you really make him/her better? Sometimes you want that someone to not have forgotten you, but that's only your selfishness.

It's only a secret.

But maybe memories shouldn't be forgotten, even when they're sad memories that you wish you just forgot and get rid of.

I want to believe that.

Because all memories should be cherished. You can only believe that the hurt will eventually fade into a dim sadness.

I really want to believe that.

And I'm starting to. Because it's all so true.

Why run away? Forgetting is like running away. I know it makes the hurt turn dim faster, because that's what ignoring it does.

But...all out flames can still be rekindled from glowing ember.

I don't want to ignore it anymore.

I want to smile more.

So...why am I running away from the things that make me happy? It baffles me.

.....I can't be born again, but I can change as I go on. Oh man. *shakes and holds head*

2006-05-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

.I.Can't.Be.Born.Again.

I was so happy, you were smiling with a smile that melts away everything. Spring is still far away, the earth is still cold, waiting for the time to sprout.

For instance, even if today is painful, and yesterday's wounds remain, I want to believe that I can free my heart and go on.

I cannot be born again, but I can change as I go on, so let's stay together forever.
________________________

Today, I just realized how much of a kid I am, how small my knowledge of the world is, how little I understand about my own feelings.

I watched Fruits Basket today. I magically found my VCDs of a few episodes (3-4, 9-10, 13-14, and 15-16) in the CD pile.

They were scratched, more than I'm comfortable with, and they barely played everything on the CD without messing up and restarting (I gave up most of the time and just skipped through half an episode or something).

I was really annoyed. But let me tell you about it.

I've been a fan of Fruits Basket since the 4th grade. And being the fan that I am, I seeked every episode, every thing I could get my hands on.

Fruits Basket is about a girl named Tohru, and the Sohma family, who has a curse upon them. When a cursed member of the Sohma clan is hugged by the opposite sex, they turn into a Jyuunishii (Chinese Zodiac animal).

The story of the Jyuunishii is: There was a big party, and all the animals were invited. The rat told the cat that the party was the day after tomorrow, when it was really tomorrow. So everyone went to the party, and the cat was at home, waiting for the party that will never come.

It's all so sad, if you think about it. And as the story goes on, you'll just absolutely fall in love with it.

My favorite character of them all, is the rabbit. In every damn personality test I took in the time span of my fandom, I always got Momiji. Now do you see why most of my usrnames have something to do with rabbits (or snow)?

And so, in the 5th grade, Kat and Leoren became hooked to FB, too. We started naming each other upon a character that best fit the personality.

Leoren was Tohru, Kat was Shigure (we loved teasing her about it. Shii-chan~!) and I'm Momiji. Their busmate, ate Sam was Ayame.

I wanted to be Ayame before, though. But ate Sam stole him because she had longer hair at the time, and everyone knew that Ayame had the longest damn hair in the show.

But it's okay.

Anyway, I remember when I watched Momiji's episode. I was crying like a baby. Not because I still was one, but because I could feel it. It's strange, I mean, how could you FEEL something from an anime?

Well, how can you laugh from cartoons then?

Just make the laugh to a tear-stained smile, and the cartoons to a heart that experienced everything.

I absolutely love that show.

Everything they say, everything they do, it's all so true.

Some may be exaggerated, but those are only for comedy purposes.

And when I liked Akito before with his mysterious aura and stuff, he seems a little bit more scary now. For some reason.

He called Tohru dumb. :O Even if she is, don't tell a dumb person that they're dumb, or else they'll unleash their dumb powers on you.

But really, that show drains me like a waterfall. I love it more than anything else.

2006-05-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

.Go.Away.You.Evil.Greek.Guy!.

Uhm. Let's talk about yesterday, when me and Monica went out, agreeing to meet at a bookstore at 2pm to go to a Cybershop and spend the whole afternoon there. This is going to be long post.

I was playing Guitar Hero at home (mwahaha, I mastered I Wanna Be Sedated : The Ramones, and I can do I Love Rock 'n' Roll in Hard mode. Mwahahah!), and my mom went in my room. Oh shit, it was 2pm already.

So we went to the bookstore and I thought Monica wasn't there (couldn't see her anywhere). Then she came after 15 minutes or so. Woot. We hugged/glomped each other and then 2 others came in.

Ate Mae and Yeye! They're Monica's cousins. They and I are pretty close, too.

Woo. so we made our way to Iconics and got settled into computers 3,4,5 and 6. Yeye was at 3, Ate Mae was at 4, I'm on 5 and Monica on 6.

I'm not sure about Yeye and Ate Mae, but me and Monica agreed to go on the internet first, check our e-mail, YM, our Neopets (rawr) etc, before going to Rose.

For those who are daft, Rose is an Online Game. Rose stands for Rush Of Seven Episodes. It's really cute, quite fun, too. Better and less crowded than Ragnarok (and Ragnarok hates me. Heck.)

So me and Monica went on Rose together and decided to go to El Verloon Desert.

Fast forward to an hour later: We're still in el Verloon desert, managing to beat up an out-of-our-league monster, Aqua Monster, and a few tens of Rackies.

It was around this time that Monica found a secret place in El Verloon, climbing a mountain that overlooks the whole desert. We saved our Respawn Point with this merchant person, and continued walking.

We found ourselves on top of a waterfall. We jumped over the waterfall and landed down at the deep-ish lake below. We were still entering messages while underwater.

TheStarFall (me): shit we're drowning
Monix (Monica): we're drowning!
TheStarFall: oh no we gunna dieee~
Monix: gasp what do we do?
TheStarFall: fuck we'll go THIRSTY!
Monix: very!
TheStarFall: or hungry. let's go kill fish.
Monix: there's nemo!
TheStarFall: *goes to chase the fish* DIE NEMO!

And then I went around, chasing a Tropical Fish with clown fish markings for the next 15 minutes. Just a few more hits (it had lots of HP, surprisingly), and I could have killed it (I gain nothing but a good laugh), when suddenly, the server disconnected.

Crappit.

But before I exited, I saw the fish go on land, and I was like, 'wtf?!'

*coughs* Heh. Anywhooo~

So after that, me and Monica went to go kill more Rackies, and Turtles.

But for some dumb reason me and Monica couldn't figure out for 30 minutes, we kept DYING. As in, we die once and then heal, and then go battle more. Then we die again. EVERY DAMN TIME.

Maybe it was because the Rackies and Candle Ghosts were ganging up on us. And when one of us needs help, the other one dies and appears in her Respawn Point, far from where she came from.

And then we both ran out of fruits (I even gave her 10 grapes, heals 400HP, and 5 oranges, 700HP), I used up all my Oranges, my Bananas, my Kiwi and every potion I had.

We're even running out of XP (every time you die, it's minus 3%XP, which is a BIG number, given that you know how HARD it is to get even 1%). So we reteated to Zant.

She stayed there to train with Woopies (Way easier than Rackies and Turtles) while I went back to El Verloon to battle Turtles.

Then I heard a 'ZING' which means you leveled up. But it wasn't me, it was Monica.

She was level 19 when we started, and I was 18. So she's level 20 now, while I'm still level 19, at 70%XP. Crap. I must go to them Woopies.

So I beat alot of them, and became level 20 JUST right after everyone closed their computers. So when I leveled up, Yeye, Mae and Monica (plus two of their other cousins, Jam and Kyle) were behind my chair, watching.

Yeye was even going "Go Ria! Go Ria!" and Monica was patting my shoulder.

After I went home, (me and mom were watching Naruto, and I was squealing every time Haku came on) we went to Superbowl again with the rest of the folks.

Conversation of the day:
Bro: When I learn that there's a new teen heartthrob, I say that I'll kick their ass. That's why I'm less angry at people now, I can kick their asses. NSync? I'll kick their ass! *cracks knuckles*
Sis: All 5 of them?
Bro: Yeah!
Sis: I can kick one of their asses.
Mom: I remember the heartthrob in my day..Kurt Russel..
Sis: ..Uhm, okay, I can't kick Kurt Russell's ass.
Bro: Neither can I. *silently eats*

Pah.

Whee. So TODAY:

I went to Iconics alone. I got myself leveled up to level 22 (mwahahaha) in 3 hours.

From 20 to 21, I stayed with the Woopies and was patient, beating up around 70 of them, with the occasional Candle Ghost.

21 to 22, I stayed with the Rackies and then got sick of them when I reached around 40%. I got to beat three Queen Honeybees/Bibi (big ass bees who hurt me and kill me) and lots of Hornets. At around 70%, I went to Breezy Hills to beat up Dalpings (snail things that we're so cute).

WOO~

I'm level 22. *dances*

And mom says that she likes Iconics because she gets to go to Wendy's and eat a Frosty, plus go to the grocery.

Plus, it's cheaper and nearer than Robinsons' Netopia. AAANNNDD~ Me and Monica can meet there. The workers are nicer, too, compared to the Netopia cashier bitch that I hate so much.

I kind of saw it this way...the reason me and Monica can't go around together is I always want to go to Robinsons, thinking it's near. But Robinsons is far from Monica's place.

So now we've found a hangout place that's in between our homes (near for me, near for her), Iconics! Yay.

Squee.

2006-04-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

.Can.I.Be.Your.Memory?.

Today was partly tiring, partly irritating, partly fun and party random.

After leaving my grandparent's house (it was my cousin's birthday and medical school graduation), we went to church somewhere near Cherry's.

After which, we went to some plaza mall thingy and ate in Superbowl (Chinese). After that, we went around looking at the stalls they had, and ended up in Watsons.

I got into a little spat with my mom, but didn't mind it because having my revenge almost seemed TOO easy. But still, I'll fulfill it.

Mark my words, woman.

So when we got home, we still had to bake the cake for my dad's birthday tomorrow, because we're too lazy to buy. Me and my sister made it. It turned out pretty well.

And so, I went online from then until now.

I am the daughter of the ruler of Pancake Land, King Raviena, and Queen Grace. Woot. When I grow up, I'm gonna be ruling Yellow Lollypop land.

Man.That conversation was so utterly normal that I felt more stupid than I already am. Man. Is that possible?

And I have decided.

A few days from now, when the computer is back (and CorelDraw is back) I'm going to be drawing lineart and Fa'e fanart for Gaia....because I'm bored.

It's come to my knowledge that I have not been as active in Gaia for the past year and a half. It's kind of sad. I loved Gaia.

Why, I remember the summer of 2004. I spent a long time over at my grandma's house.

They're internet is plan there, so I don't have to keep buying cards and stuff. So the normal day goes like this: I sleep at 8am, right after a few shows on Animax (I'm envious that they have it), and wake up at 1pm sharp, for lunch.

RIGHT after lunch I either wtch TV for a few more hours, or go straight to the computer and spend hours on Gaia until 7am.

I loved the care-free-ness then.

I ended up watching Animax for two hours while I was in grandma's today. How I miss the old shows I used to watch.

Clamp School (eeeee. haha), Ultramaniac, Saber Marionette J, Wolf's Rain...

Stuff like that.

I watched Alice's Academy, too. It was cute.

But then I saw a commercial for a certain show.

The first scene was all snow. Leafless trees, and a snowy landscape. Then a few people were walking. I tried looking closely at them...

And saw that one had short, platinum blonde hair. And a big white coat. He's kind of tall, too. I SQUEALED.

Faaaaaaaaiiiiiiii *heart heart heart heart*

Fai Fai Fai Fai Fai Fai *HEART*

Eeeeeeee.

If you don't know, Fai is from Chobits as the creator of them dolls like Chii. But I don't watch Chobits. The only way I got to know him was *cough* Tada! THE RESERVOIR CHRONICLES OF TSUBASA!

It's like...Cardcaptor Sakura in the future, but WAY better.

I love Fai.

Me and Leoren used to make fun of him because he looked too much like Camus, a made-up character I har..er, made-up around two years ago.

Gah.

Faaaaaiiii.

2006-04-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

.Welcome.Me.Back.Sherlock.

I love you, Ravy. And I know you won't forget.
Love like you think no one'll think you're weird? *giggles*)

Even if our suns come up at different times, and we don't sleep and dream in the same bed, our own little mixed up worlds revolves around us.

Even if, sometimes, it's not all a delicate balance, one is vulnerable, and the other is acting all knowing as if it can make the other one assured...

And even if we can't sing in such a variety as soft or loud, or delicate and out of key without making a fool of ourselves, the only ones truly listening is me and you.

And finally, if we really are like the same souls, destined to walk the same paths, the same lives, that'll just mean that nothing matters, and that we're doing this together.

We're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost, and we won't change anything if we had a time-machine... Because everything is perfect just the way it is. It's because...somehow, we're just like that.

Perfect.
__________________

Just a little something to tell myself that I don't have nothing to fear and worry about. I'm assured now and I feel safe.

Thanks.

2006-04-27T23:59:00.000-07:00

.You.Hug.Real.Good.

Last night, I was trying to write my story which was serious and all, when suddenly, Family Guy was on TV. It's...hard to write. Haha.

After which, I gave up and decided to watch what was after FG, Drawn Together. It's just a bunch of different/modified characters living under one roof as some kind of reality show. It's funny, but a really obnoxious show. And I was watching it with my mom in the room.

So...yeah. haha. But I didn't even make and effort to change the channel because I liked the show.

Soooo...Monica and I will be going out on May 1. Thankfully, her mom allowed her and my driver's home. Yay. Her mom's going but it's okay. She is the only parent of my friends that is actually nice to me.

All the other parents suck ass.

Anyway, her mom's just going to go on YM and that's it, while me and Monica will play Rose Online. Raaawr. Yaaay. She's influenced me into wanting to play so badly.

But unfortunately, I can't go to the nearest mall/internet cafe because me and all the cashiers and programmers there are mortal enemies. Uhm, no I'm not joking.

So I fear that if I go there, they might give me a defective computer. And whether it's mine or someone else's, I DESPISE crappy computers. I WILL end up killing someone with the keyboard.

I hate them. *hiss*

Anyway....uhm, I'm bored now.

Oh, notice all the new contact numbers? Yeah, in the front page. I now have AIM, MSN, ICQ and YM. Just because I have some friends who don't have YM. And so...yeah.

I'll just go now.

2006-04-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

.Kiss.Me.Now.That.I'm.Older.

Rawr. (I know I say that too much, but who cares) I wore denim jeans today. Me=Proud. Yeah. If you haven't caught on yet, I never wear denim. Especially denim jeans.

I dunno. I just don't like 'em. Too tight, too hot, too overrated. But I found a pair that magically fits and wasn't that bad. Plus, I accidentaly spilled a bunch of candle wax on one of my favorite cotton pull-up pants.

Well, I didn't mind, but my mother will, and I don't feel like listening. So I changed pants 3 times before I found the denim. Whee.

I am so cool. *giggles*

Myah. But I still don't like it.

And I didn't see Monica todaaaaayyy. D: *whines* I was supposed to when we were enrolling.

The only people I got to talk to was one of Kat's busmates Rosalyn, and Luisa, one of my far-off neighbors. We talked about Yu-Gi-Oh. Har.

In Kingdom Hearts just a night ago, I completed the Atlantica world by finishing the missions. I had to do the musical thing again. RAWR. Haha. Sora singing Under The Sea made me laugh.

"Dude this is so gay!" I was screaming. "Sora's a gayass!"

Really. It was just so....kyehhh!! *giggles*

Fra Lippo Lippi is coming to the Philippines. Hahaha. Their songs are funny. But I'm not watching. I think it's Luisa's birthday the day after.

Myahhh. So bored.

Rawr.

It's dad's birthday on the 30th. So my plans with Monica going out at the 28th or 29th is a wash-out (Unfair!). Dayum.

We're planning to get together to go to an internet cafe and play Rose (Online) at the same time.

1. Because I haven't played since last year.
2. Because she says she doesn't want to play when she's not with me (aww)

And she's a level higher than me now (that's why she wanted to play with em so we can level up together.). Since she's a hawker, though, her vitality and strength have to be balanced. I'm a soldier, so that means MONSTER BASHING!!!

So..yeah. I'm still stronger, because strengh is the attribute I focus on. Rawr. But she admits that.

In all the games I play, actually, I focus on strength. I appreciate healers and all, but how can you defend yourself when all you know is healing? The monster won't go away! XO

And magic is cool. But mages have weak physical attacks. Which I hate.

So it's such a waste when I'm playing Suikoden II. My favorite character, Luc, is a wizard. So even if he's level 58, his attack is like...20 at least (even with my futile attempts to make him a super wizard with strong attack!). Sometimes even 1. Compared to the other level 56 party members he has, whose attack is 300+

Wtf.

So yeah.

Even in Kingdom Hearts.

Rawr.

So anyway. We're planning to go out sometime first week of May. Woot.

Waaaahh.

I'm really tempted to type like a dyslexic dude right now. Because that's probably what I am. Or something. Haha.

And I'm lazy to type normally. so get readeh and ph34r t3h dYslxyuh. XDD

mom's watching some gayass show...nah im not insulting the guy. the host really is gay. so bleh.

i'm bored and i really have to learn how to sit up straight. i admit to myself that i slouch too much. rawr. that's why my back always hurts.

some massage person came today. rawr. i got massaged. no difference. but my mom kept coming in at random times and said "does it hurt? why doesn't it hurt?" and my mom said at one time, "RC (the massage person), make it harder so she'll be annoyed."

:

rawr. gah. *smacks head*

nyah. i watched a very shocking episode of yakitate japan today. rawwwwr. after monica explained it to me...and a whole episode of south park.

M'kay.

mr. mackey! rawr!

:

*hiss*

stfu..>o>;

2006-04-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

.You.Were.Cool.But.I.Take.The.Monkey.

The only thing I did while I was online aside from lookin' for pictures to vandalize, was talking to Kat in YM....actually, Meebo.

Woot. So now I have AIM and MSN.

Rawr.

Me and Kat were being so ghey. To a fault. It was stupid, but it was easy and really funny. *giggles*

We liked the ding sound Meebo makes. Mighty convenient, too.

Hyaahhh...now I'm bored.

I beat Sephiroth HALF WAY at level 61. DAMNIT. Stupid guy HAD to use the meteors on me. Rawr. Eeebil Sephy. *hiss*

Yeah, it's obvious that I don't feel like being sane today. Leave me alone. XP

Gyah. Mom's taking me to school tomorrow so we could enroll for the next year. I'm...lazy. But I'm going since Monica's going.

And I have to wake up early.

But...it's 11pm...so I just woke up 7 hours ago. Myeh.

I think a friend hates me. But I don't mind. I expected it anyway. I tried to put what I said in the nicest way possible, but yeah. People are just so...kyeehhh.

Kat found a picture of Roxas in the end, when he was smiling. *giggles* Lurv for her.

Whee. Now I'm bored.

Jay Leno's doing Headlines, so I'm gunna go now.

Rawr.

2006-04-24T02:06:00.000-07:00

.All.The.Cool.People.Procrastinate!.

Eh.

A night ago or so, Dad began shouting at the top of his lungs to my mom, saying that he's the one doing everything in the family, running the family business, and blah blah.

Who is the guy that is the King of Lateness, a guy that spends all his money on booze and cigarettes, the guy who sleeps until what-time, a guy that never goes to church because he prefers to oversleep, and a guy that always tells my mom to "Rest, and ignore your troubles."

He complains about my brother not helping around with the business, but hey, he's in college and has 2 majors. What can you expect? (his school can hold two majors for an additional year) He has no right to complain.

Just before he started shouting, I went to my room. Then I heard him, I glanced out the door and he was coming towrads the bedroom. I shut the door as loud as I can, just to make a point that I don't like to talk to him.

I got the laptop and Sims University and went out to where my brother and mom were sitting, listening through the whole thing.

Bro was just sitting there, looking out in space, and mom was also sitting there, folding napkins as if she wasn't listening.

But I know she was.

Once I sat down, dad retreated to his room and closed the door. I sat beside my brother, trying to keep their minds off it. I turned the laptop on and waited for it to load.

I said "I don't really like him."

And my mother said that it's wrong to.

Wtf?

........
Myeah.

But dad said he's going to buy me 3-4 boxes of PopTarts, so it's easier to forget what happened. Huff.

WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED THAT POPTARTS ARE BEING SOLD HERE?!?!?!??! *whines*

I'm getting the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavour.

Mmm...poptarts AND cookies. The best thing evah.

2006-04-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

.Quick!.Spoon.Feed.Me.My.Addiction!.

I would have posted at least 28 hours ago, if it wasn't for my laziness and my preoccupation with Sims2 University.

Woo. We got it installed. It's hard, not entirely fun to be exact, but it's okay. Different, so it's fine.

Anyway. About that hotel thing. Yeah. Holiday Inn. Pretty snazzy, but we only got in for free, so no big deal.

Anyway, I got in the room and the first thing I dived for was the Room Service menu. But damn straight. A glass of orange juice costs 230 bucks? Not. Fair.

But anyway. So..er, yeah. Sadly, I can't remember a thing from that time, except me just lazing around, savoring the fluffy double bed...which I got all to myself and made my parents squish together at the other bed.

Woot.

Fluffy and warm.

BUT. *squeals* Lemme tell you about the ride TO there. Once I got in the car, I slept right away (Mom even said, "We just got in and you're going to sleep already?!")

When I woke up, we stopped at this place. My aunt said to pick up something. My mother wlaked back out after a few minutes, following a guy with a box in his hands.

The box had a small puppy inside it.

Half Chiuahua, half Dauchsund. I'm telling you, it was so cute.

I am a sucker for small cute things...especially puppies. So I just had to cuddle and nuzzle it. Mom even said that according to the seller, the puppy will NOT slepe unless it has something warm or someone to snuggle up to.

Awwwww. *trails off*

It's so cute. ;_: wah. I am so going to post a picture when I can take one. My aunt already picked it up before I could get home and make the dog feel like it won a pageant.

So..yeah..

Cute puppy. ;_;

It was squeezing itself in all the places you can imagine in the car. Behind my back when I'm sitting down, on my lap, under my arm.

Waa, cuteness.

2006-04-19T06:22:00.000-07:00

.God.Bless.Your.Etc.Etc.

Feh.

Summery of contents: What I'm doing, where I'm going tomorrow, and my relationship flaws with my siblings. If it does not appeal to your interest, leave.

I'm reading the Kingdom Hearts manga. Yeah, KH1. So what's the use? I hated 1. I'd rather KH2, REALLY. But still. Fuck it.

Er..yeah. I won't be online tomorrow since we're going to Pampanga, and my mother is parnoid if we bring the laptop.

She says its smoldering hot in Pampanga.

I haven't been there.

And I don't really want to go BECAUSE it's smoldering hot. I hate hot places. To death. As in. Totally, repulsively, detest them.

Argh.

What if I get a nosebleed again? So now they're going to yap at me again on why I keep wearing black since it's hot and why I don't have the electric fan on, and why I had a robe on, and didn't have a damp handtowel on my forehead.

Er..yeah, she caught me like that last night.

One, the handtowel got my shirt all wet so I was wearing a bathrobe. Two, my shirt only looked black because it was dark with water, and I only had the computer's light on. Three, I misplaced the handtowel after putting it down. Four, I forgot to turn it on, and I didn't find the need to, because I wasn't bothered by the slight heat.

But never smoldering heat, oh no.

Pweh.

Oh, yeah, I say 'they' because my dad's coming.

Only reason we're going is that they think I'm bored, and decided to bring me along, to someplace I don't know and don't care about. It's dad's convention thingy. I dunno.

*sighs* At least we get to stay at a hotel.

Er. Yeah.

I hope I get to call Monica, too.
Please let there be a phone!! *pleads*

...I just saw my brother's Friendster account (I'm deleting friends again, so..yeah. CLEAR!). He had a picture of him back in 1988, clinging onto my dad's back.

Unfortunately, all I did on that back was step on it and jump on it. No, I'm serious. Ask anyone in the family. I'm famous for that. *snorts*

And he also had 2 other pictures when he was younger.

Uhm. Yeah.

Having 6-7 years age difference has it's horrible flaws. Because to be honest, I wish I was closer with my siblings. Then maybe we could actually talk, so I could actually have SOMEONE to talk to in the house.

Now you know why I die to get the phone everytime.

Or maybe it's just me that my brother only talks to my sister, and when she leaves the room and I come in, he's just silent.

...Er..okay.

My sister tries and talk to me, sure, but what ends up coming out are remarks that lead to dead ends, or sometimes even things that I hate and throw back at her, but in a much more purposely offensive manner.

(And I don't even give a fuck if they read my blog. This is my thoughts, so who gives a fuck about what others say I should do?)

Even my mother admits it. We don't get along well. We're too different for our own good. Too different to a point that one gets left out. Or maybe there are no companionships at all.

And so now, to try and summarize what I've said about them:

"I think I'm adopted."

Otherwise known as..."maybe I don't have a brother, or a sister."

Because if I did, why haven't I been informed in my 13 years of existence?

2006-04-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

.I.Know.Not.Who.I.Am.

Rawr.

I'm talking to Monica right now. And we're squealing random things. It's fun, very relieving. Heh. WHEE.

I'm telling her about that time I was playing Guitar Hero. When I made mistakes, I say "Fuck." or "What the?!" But then I made a mistake, I said, "Fudda." Like, you know, 'fuck' and 'what the' together.

And she was laughing hysterically.

And now I'm getting used to saying "Whut da hell??!" in everything I do.

Like I was watching Hero a while ago. I caught Mirmo De Pon, reaching 10 minutes of everything I didn't understand. Then Inuyasha was next (woot woot).

So there was this huge ass monster that had a huge ass chain. He was whipping Koga...and I think it hit between his legs, too. Twice. Poor guy.

Then after Inuyasha was Yu-Gi-Oh! Woo! Hahaha. I was making fun of Yami. Woot. Then Thief King Bakura came. And I was squealing really loud. "Go thief king! Go thief king!!" Me=really big fan of Bakura.

I find it really sad that Ryou didn't have friends before, then Yugi came. So happy happy. Then suddenly, Yami Bakura came and ruined his friendship with Yugi. So then Yugi and company started hating Bakura for his misdeeds, leaving the real, innocent Ryou Bakura without friends AGAIN and be controlled by a maniac.

Then when High Priest Seto used the Millenium Rod to seal the evil spirit onto a stone tablet, bad thoughts came running into my head.

I read this Yami Marik X Marik fic sometime last year. Let's just say it was quite lemony. And the Millenium Rod's kinky involvement did not ease my brain, not did it pull my head out of the gutter. Oh god.

But anyway, after that, was Yakitate! Japan. I dunno. I just like watching it. There's so much bread. *o*

And next was Mr. Ajikko...which I had no interest in (Cooking Master Boy rules more than Ajikko does, yo!). So I just decided to call Monica, and...here I am.

Gyah.

SESSHYYYYY.

I feel like defeating Sephiroth. But Pu defeated him at level 71. I'm only level 54 when I defeated Ansem/Xehanort's Nobody/Xemnas. So...he's so much harder than Xemnas. But then, shouldn't Sephy be the boss? But...I guess, not. Hehe.

What a weird ass story that'd be.

Excuse me for the stupidness....

I WANT TO PLAY DIRGE OF CERBERUUUSSSS!!!!11one!1eleven1 Waaaaaaaa!*whines* Vinnie!!! DDX Waaaaaaa! This suuuccckkkssszzzorx. Oh god. Fuck.

I hate it. I saw a Dirge of Cerberus in the mall. But it's still in Japanese. Crap. I'm not completely fluent in Japanese, so that won't make it easy. And with the extremely big words that Vinnie uses, I think I'll die.

Kyahhhh.

r0x0rz! a.k.a. BHK!

Woo. Now I know what BHK means. I was stupid. I thought BHK was some kind of type of Nobody. Then...er, it stood for 'Blonde Haired Kid'.

Gyah. He was called that for months before SquareEnix released his name out. And I even call him that without realizing that it's initials were BHK.

......................gah. Dirge of Cerberuuuuss.

Roxas, without the X, scramble it, will spell Sora. So when I read it in a fanfic, Axel was saying it. So I was like, OMFG.

.........

OMFG.

o__O;

Yeah.

That felt good.

And now Monica is telling me about how much she wants to watch the Silent Hill movie, but won't play the game. And she wants to play House Of The Dead 1, 2, and 3.

Woo.

Horror.

2006-04-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

.Well.Ha.Ha.Ha.

Today is just downright fucked up. I swear.

It all started with me playing Wild Arms 4 again. I was damned from the very beginning. Fucking lasers...*mumbles* Anyway, so I went online to look for a walkthrough.

It was really hot, but I didn't mind, because I said that I'd leave soon and go back to my game. Then I ended up staying. Meh. Monica called, so I shut the PS2 off.

So...yay, Monica called after two weeks of isolation. Anyway, so we kept talking until dinner.

Suddenly, something dripped from my nose. "Fuck," I said when I saw blood.

I'm like that. My nose bleeds when it's hot. But I was stupid and didn't mind it, didn't I?

So I was having trouble eating my dinner and drinking and talking to Monica at the same time, because I had a handtowel folded on my forehead and it was dripping water, thus making my shirt incredibly wet. Then I had to have my head up if I wanted it to stop.

Also, I was still on the internet.

I was downloading something. And 14 more minutes and it'd be done. Then suddenly, a pop-up came and crashed my computer system, making it shutdown in one minute. I resterted, connected again, and the same thing happened.

I decided to give it up and just play Sims2 on mom's laptop. I asked the maids where it was and they said it was in my mom's room. I checked, the damn room was locked.

No one had the key except my mom and sister, because she's the only one mom trusts anyway.

God, I live with these people.

Mom's insensitive, dad's piss drunk, sis makes it hard to find things, my brother couldn't give a shit, and the maids are stupid.

Luckily, Monica was still waiting on the phone. I came back to the phone, and kind of teared up. It just sucked. Today just sucked.

One of the greatest things that can annoy me with only one strike, are crappy computers and boredom and no access to any entertainment.

Kind of a petty thing to cry about, but I didn't cry. I was just tearing up. It just made me so annoyed. I hate it.

But Monica was there, and I feel better about the whole thing.

'Cept for the fact that I had successfully downloaded the Windows Media Player skin. Then I was going to apply it, then it said that WMP had to be at Version 9, when all I had was version 8. So when I tried downloading v9, it said it'll take two hours.

Screw it.

But it was such a pretty skin...

*sigh*

So now Monica is listening to and jotting down the lyrics of Haligh Haligh A Lie Haligh. She appreciates the deepness, because I read to her the lyrics, saying that so many parts of my life is reflected on this song.

Maybe not the whole song, but I have many experiences yet to experience. I will eventually find out what it means, by experiencing it first hand.

*sighs*

Yeah. I'm done.

2006-04-17T01:03:00.000-07:00

.Lala.Love.Me.

*sigh*

Whee.

*sigh*

What? I'm trying to be happy here.

It's not that I'm not. I kind am.

I mean, I wrote chapter two of something that I held off for the longest of times, I downloaded a song by The Shins (Caring Is Creepy) and I love it, I finished Guitar Hero last night, and the rechargeable batteries for the camera was found.

I still miss Roxas though.

Seriously, that boy makes me cry like a little baby. I love him.

Gah.

But I'm bored.

*sighs*

2006-04-16T01:14:00.000-07:00

.I.Could.Be.

I've been thinking of writing this topic for the longest of times.

I hate myself for being how I am now. I loved the way I was so carefree before. It kinda started last year. But anyway, I think I'm too uptight.

It's not being intellectual, because you can be smart by having fun or something. It's not being serious, because I hate that it bounds you to only one way of doing things. It sucks. I want my freedom back.

I want my carefree self that used to use 1337 for fun. To use smileys, because I feel that way. To goof around and not being some kind of angry person that has no sense of humor.

I love jokes, I love to laugh, I love making people laugh.
I like silence, I like being alone, I like doing things alone.
I hate being serious, I hate rules, I hate priorities and expectations.

So who am I?

The FF7 ruling LJ made me realize this. I mean, I thought it was funny and not stupid. If I thought it was stupid, then I'd just be a wet blanket.

I don't give a fuck about being intelligent anymore. But the fact is, someone changed me. Someone undirectly made me stop using smileys and goofing off just because I wanted her to like me. I hate myself.

Ugh, stupid...

Okay, now that's out, let's talk about yesterday.

Yesterday was Black Saturday. We went to Tagaytay and stuff. In Antonio's Grill, their table tops are big paper sheets. I took home two. I'm going to draw on the whole thing like I did before. ...I still want to frame that.

Anyway, so..after that, I went over to Patricia's for a party. I ended up meeting her cousin, Stephan. And..well, we talked alot. Then he had to go. He said he'd want to be back when I'm over, too. Aw.

So I ended up sleeping over. Jackie (Trish's sister), Eliza (a neighbor), and Dominique (her youngest sister) fell asleep first.

Me, Trish and Sabine (neighbor) was playing Guitar Hero for a while, then Disney Uno for an hour (I won with 204 points, whoo), until it was around 4am. And then we just talked for the rest of the time until around 5.

I mean, the whole day, me and Trish were together, talking about anything. Mostly pr0n. No, I'm serious. Trish is into those things. I don't mind, it's fine with me. So...yeah. pron. *nods*

So...uhm, yeah. Me and Trish were the last to wake up on Easter Sunday, today, because we had to go to church. My grandmother and aunt and cousin was over at my house, and they were telling me to come home already. But I didn't want to.

Instead, I played more Guitar Hero, then Call Of Duty, then we went outside and saw snow.

Nah, not real snow.

We have these trees. Around april, they make cotton of sorts that have seeds in them. So they fly all over the place. It was windy, too.

Honest to god, it was so beautiful. Maybe not as romantic as snow or whatever, but it was really good. I wanted to take a picture so bad. Trish's driveway was filled with it.

*sighs* But now I'm back home, merely making fun of the Sim my cousin is making.

He kinda looks like Jafar.

Huhh...I didn't use a smiley. And it really wasn't intentional. I really should liven up a little. Just give me a good reason to, and I'll be fine.

2006-04-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

.It's.All.Pu's.Fault!.

What would it be like if FF7 dominated LJ?

This is what.

I swear I'm going to die of laughter.
It's all Pu-sama's fault! Wah.

2006-04-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

.Gravity.Is.Not.Our.Friend.

It's kinda funny.

I defeated Demyx two or three days back, and hadn't told you, whoever you are. Anyway, yeah, and after that, I shouted "Woo! Yes!" as in, really loud. So when I got out of the room, my parents were staring at me. Oh, and also because I had this stupid grin on my face.

I'm freaking serious. I couldn't wipe it off.

Actually, I jsut got out of the room so I could jump around more, but then I can't because there are people. So instead, I just asked for Oreos.

So after that, I just..well, continued playing.

And today (well, actually, yesterday, because it's already 3:30am) I finished it.

At exactly 11pm on April 14, the credits, the scenes, everything, was done.

*sighs*

The only thing wasted in the game was (I did every trial, every episode, everything) Sephiroth. I didn't get to defeat him. I tried, 4 times, but then he was jsut too strong...and Sora was forced to fight on his won, with each blow of Sephy's taking 1/5 of the HP. Meanies.

But whatever.

If you beat Sephiroth, Tifa'll come and give you the Oblivion Keyblade.

Kinda useless, because it only upgraded my magic when I received it from Riku/Ansem. Woot.

Oh, and I didn't get the Final Form (where you're costume's all black and white), and use Stitch, Genie and PEterpan as Summons. I just didn't find the use for them.

Heh. *cackles evilly*

*sighs* Now what am I going to do witht he rest of my life?

Going around Sable is hard, even with Dinn on my side. Sialeeds is totally useless, and so is Lyon, kinda. They keep dying. Blegh.

Argh.

Oh well.

I am now a rabid Kingdom Hearts II fan (I still don't favor KH1...stupid Kairi..).

pH34R m3H.

I cried at the ending. Really, I did. It was so sweet. I REALLY cried when the scenes mixed up with the ending theme. Utada Hikaru has a thing for those kinds of songs. She's really good. I was so happy for them. But of course, I cried most because of the beautiful blonde Nobody.

No, not Cloud, (he's not even a Nobody) because Cloud sucks.

Well, when he's not being a chibi and fighting Cactuars because he's bored, that is. Heh. Effing Cloud song...still stuck in my head. *shakes head*

2006-04-13T03:31:00.000-07:00

.My.Flawless.Sense.Of.Style.

Craaaaaap.

So, I went to Quiapo today. I kind of promised myself I'd never buy anything therem but I did. Lots of things, in fact. But all of them are albums. 'Cept a DVD.

Shall I list all 17 of them? Okay. *giggles* (I just like typing right now.)

Razorblade Romance : HIM
Dark Light : HIM
Antics : Interpol
What To Do When You're Dead : Armor For Sleep
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out : Panic! At The Disco
Room On Fire : The Strokes
Everything In Transit : Jack's Mannequin
You Could Have It So Much Better : Franz Ferdinand
Sounding The Seventh Trumpet : Avenged Sevenfold
One Fell Swoop : The Spill Canvas
Hopes And Fears : Keane
All We Know Is Falling : Paramore (I just HAD to)
Heroine : From First To Last
If Only You Were Lonely : Hawthorne Heights
All The Right Reasons : Nickelback
..and a CD of one of UnderOath's concerts.

And of course, a DVD of Brokeback Mountain.

Eh. Yes. I just finished watching part of it, actually. Haha.

I spent most of the money mom gave me. Actually, I only have P20 left. Heh.

Woo.

Anyway.

We went to China town.

I accidentaly spilled my water on a dish of hot sauce. The ice fell in. Does sit make it cold sauce? *giggles* Yeah, I know, lame, but I just thought of it when I saw the ice fall in. I poked it with my fork then my mother scowled at me.

Eh.

I swear my dad was trying to kill me today.

And we also went to this Chinese grocery of sorts...my brother was holding a bag and laughed randomly. So me and my sister approached him and looked at the bag.

'Instant Jellyfish!'

...Heh. So my sister grabbed it and was squishing it.

Yeah, we're just weird like that.

In groceries that seem unfamiliar, and have weird items, us siblings go around and inspect every food item, making fun of the name, how squishy it is, or how just plain pathetic we are.

And we saw two fat cats sleeping. One was on the floor, the other one was on a stool. Both directly in front of the fish section. Kinda neat, 'cuz I kept poking them.

And the cashier lady, whom was old and Chinese, gave me a bad look and smashed my change on the counter, then turning back to the person she was talking to (I bought candy).

..."That lady is old and mean." I just had to say out loud.

Anywho...uhh..yeah. We also went to and ice cream parlor today. That served meals, too, so..whatever the heck it is, we went there...and had ice cream.

Actually, I had a milk shake. I was still full.

But I gulped the shake down, and had a brainfreeze 4 seperate times.

And..uhm, yeah. Nothing else so special.

Except for the fact that I'm going to be kooked up all day near a stereo, listening to all my new CDs. Yeah, sue me. *cackles*

2006-04-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

.I.Need.You.Like.Water.In.My.Lungs.

So around a week ago, I joined this forum. SemeXUke. Just because my addiction of Muriya was at an all time high. And now, I get the confirmation mail. Cool.

So I went and read some things, read through the N-17 Gravitation roleplay...and such. Then I saw the signature of one Admin. It was an AyaXToriXGure banner.

Y'know, from Fruits Basket, that cute little anime that made me cry more times than I can count? Ayame, Hatori, and Shigure. <3 They always made a wonderful yaoi topic.

*giggles* I won't post, though. I just wanted to join. o_O;

Anyway, I've been kinda active in Bishie.org (aka Glompanon.net) again. Oni and Animefreaka still remembers me. It's kinda nice.

But enough about that. We haven't talked about Suikoden V yet.

*sighs* Yes, against my better judgement, I "abandoned" my Kingdom Hearts file because I couldn't beat Demyx, and certainly had no patience for it anytime soon. Then I started a Suikoden V one.

Err...yeah.

It's really cool, actually.

First impression of the game when I first read a summary was: You play this princess and you live in the Queendom of Falena. That's it. But ACTUALLY, you play a PRINCE and you live in the Queendom of Falena.

Actually, I started the game thinking that the character was a girl. The cover of the case was not helping, because..well, the kid looked like a girl. So when the game asked me to name him/her, I started thinking of a girl's name.

But to no avail. So just named her Roxas, thinking that a girl named like that wouldn't be so bad. Turns out, he's a boy, so...hey, all the better, right? Haha.

Anyway, yeah.

Of course, it made me laugh like hell since I saw the same old tactic from SuikoI and II, where you'll end up finding this abandoned plance that will end up beign your castle.

And we did! Sindar ruins, in fact. Kinda nice for Lorelai. Oh, and some mysterious woman that threatens to kill me if I don't live worthy-ly as the bearer of the Dawn Rune.

(The Dawn Rune actually sucks ass, because all it can do is heal. 'Cept one move, but it's still crappy and it all depends on the arrangement of the enemies. I appreciate healers as much as the next person, but the thing is, Roxas is strong. I'm not going to waste his moves on healing and shit.)

So I was scrambling around the house trying to think of a name for the army, and a name for the castle. I bugged my brother to let me go on the internet so I could find a name from Legend of Mana.

The notes of that game I had did not help because of the crappy short-cuts I made. (For example, I wrote: L U LR Jumi staff sumwhere. Topaz. Domina. Elazul. Bar. Agree. Save.....which means, go left, up, lower right, put the Jumi Staff somewhere, get a topaz, go to Domina, talk to Elazul in a bar and agree to find Pearl. Then go home to save.) So...yeah, uber-shortcuts not giving me good name.

But I ended up with Elazulite. Gah. And the castle just HAD to be name Bejeweled. (Friggin' Bejeweled City in Legend of Mana..mmrgh, making me sorry for Ruben..meeehh.)

During a recent war (I hate it! Unlike SuikoII, where I can make Apple run things for me, I actually have to command the troops now! Gah!) that was on land and on water, I concentrated on the land mostly...when a battleship sunk.

Fuck.

So I was having a really hard time. The troops of Kyle, Aunt Sialeeds, Goesch, and some other guy, had to retreat. But it made me wonder.

In SuikoII, when one of your troops loose, the character running that troop will die and will not be play-able for the rest of the game. That's..practically what happened to Kiba.

So I was really really paranoid. If Kyle dies, 1 of the 2 Queen's Knights on my side, that spells trouble. But he couldn't have, because after the war, we had to say Lelcar from burning down.

And then I thought: If Sialeeds dies, what a crappy story it'd make. Because Sialeeds is the only Royal Family member left on Roxas' side. Of course, Princess Lymsleia is on his side too, but is currently held captive with Gizel.

That damn Godwin. I hate his guts.

And he dare cut off engagement with Sialeeds? That damn pedophile, now engaged to a child no more than 13.

And if he were to be around the same age as Sialeeds, whom is Queen Arshtat's sister, then..wouldn't he be old enough to be Lym's parent?

I feel sorry for Belcoot.

Not like I'd want anyone to marry my sister anyway, eh.

2006-04-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

.You're.A.Blue.Eyed.Lightning.Bolt.

Okay. Here's the bottom line.

I had this effing long post ready about 5-6 hours ago. It was a pissy post, honestly. I just came from church, and it particularly pissed me off today.

I'll just be honest and say that I don't like church.

Sure, yell at me and force the Lord onto me, whatever, I won't listen. I'll just realize him on my own, if ever.

But until then, yeah. I'll remain kinda agnostic about the whole thing. Actually, "apathetic agnosticism" and "agnostic atheism" is kinda big on me. Of course, plain neutralism is my main point.

For those who are daft:
Neutralism: In my words, I just say I don't care until you prove anything.
Apathetic Agnosticism is the belief that, because Gods don't interact with the world in a very big way, it doesn't matter whether they exist or not.
Agnostic Atheism is the view that a God may or may not exist, but probably doesn't exist.

(from Wikipedia....they rule. Haha.)

Anyway, so..yeah, there I was, typing away. I was almost done, but with the help of divine forces, the power suddenly went out long enough for my computer to shut down and me to say, "Oh shit."

Then the power went back.

Eh.

Yeah. That's God saying, "Screwed, aren't you?"

So yeah. 3 hours later, my dad mentioned "The Gospel Of Judas" airing on National Geographic. Well, I was bored so I instantly stood up and squealed, "Ooooh!" (Yeah, I know, weird).

So I watched it until midnight.

It was very informative.

Honestly, Judas being a "traitor" and all didn't impact me so much. I didn't care. But the show made me like him.

His gospel was lost and thrown by Bishop Irenaeus (?) in around 180 AD. He condemned it as a Heresy because he was pissed of at the fact that a traitor has a gospel. Like, as if.."Judas" and "Gospel" do not belong together.

And he only approved the 4 Evangelists' books, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John because his argument was there were 4 directions of a compass, 4 poles in the church, 4 directions of wind. Also because MML&J are the most read amongst the Christians back then.

It's the most pathetic defense I've ever heard. So what, out of 30+ gospels, you pick them just because they're popular, and because of your own personal reasons?

Eh.

But I like it.

National Geographic acted out what the Gospel of Judas said. And Judas' actor was hot. Mwahaha. Eh. Anyway.

Yeah. I'm not going to write about what his book said. I'm too lazy. And you find out yourself. I've had enough of holy shit for one day.

2006-04-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

.Color.What.I.See.

I don't feel too hot today. As in: not feeling well, or happy.

I mean, no, nothing's hurting really. I'm just...blank today. I hate myself because of this. For no obvious reason, I feel bad. Like...I'm not happy. It sucks. Really, it does.

I feel like shit.

I was fine this morning. I got up..like, 10am, went back to sleep until 12pm, went back to sleep until 3pm. Okay, so I'm fully rested. Then I proceeded to play KH2 again until around 5, when I was too lazy and too annoyed with the game to actually continue playing.

Damn three-headed dog that I have to beat without my party and without my Valour/Wisdom form in two minutes. Damn that thing. DAMN IT TO HELL.

Wait, it's already in Hell. ....Mrrggggh.

Anyway.

Ehh....I dunno. I tend to think too much when I'm like this. It spawns so many things.

Oh, no, wait. I tend to think too much period. To a fault.

I remember one day, I just woke up, and was just lying in bed, doing nothing. Then I suddenly think of making wave paths with my hands..so I did. Then I suddenly think of Mr. Bean, and then airplanes, and then barfing noises, then back to wave paths. All in a span of 5 minutes of pure...nothingness.

Thought I'd say boredom, didn't you? But no. Not doing anything doesn't necessarily mean boredom.

Most of the time, I'm not bored when I'm not doing anything.

Strange as it might seem, I'm only bored with the things I'm doing. It's more of laziness when I'm not doing anything.

And so, the word 'weird' has made me think more of my bizarre self.

My peeve of fingerprints, for example. Let's say you get your fingerprints on some glass in a building or so (not your own house, but probably somewhere more public, like school or malls). What I don't like is: What if there suddenly was some kind of accident that happened there? A robbery? And they're searching for fingerprints...they found yours.

..Eh, yeah, I know, weird.

But of course, I also don't like fingerprints because...well, they're just gross. I mean...uh..eh.

Well, whatever. That's just me.

But of course, there's another annoyance I came to think about.

I remember writing papers in school, around grade 4 or something, and I made a mistake. I wanted to throw the paper away, but then I thought of the school saying something about recycling the paper we throw into something. I looked at the paper, and it already had my name on it. Even my address, I think.

So what came to mind was...if I throw this away, the people in the recycling place or dumpster will see it, and know my full name, where I live, how old I am, etc. And..well, I wouldn't know theirs. *giggles* But point is, I have a weird fear.

I'm not the normal person that would be scared of spiders or snakes (I mean, what for? I even want a tarantula as a pet), of heights, or of dying.

I'm just...y'know. Now typical.

2006-04-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

.Where.Are.You.Now?.

Muriya! *love*

Okay. Uhm. Yeah. I'll jsut say what happened last night. Nothing big, and such, but before that, I'd like to repeatedly say:

Roxas, I love you, I miss you, I love you, Sora can go eat his balls because you rule, and I miss you and your Cloud-like hair.

...God, Sora sucks.

So yeah. Kingdom Hearts II. It's not as bad as KH1, but...but...Sora SUCKS. If Kairi can be a typical Mary-Sue...what is Sora? A Mary-Bob? God.

So I played KH2 for 8 hours straight last night (8:40, actually). When I got up form my bed, I felt like my jaw was just punched by 'the Terminator'.

Practically the whole time I was playing, I was lying on my bed. And lying on my side. Thus, my cheek/jaw, whatever.

....Eh.

But I'll play again later. *giggles*

2006-04-05T00:25:00.000-07:00

.OriYa!.

No, I'm not retarded for saying that. It's a character. From Yami no Matsuei. Whom I loved to death since 2 years ago, and still love until now.

...Luff. *heart* He..like, has my name written all over him. *giggles madly*

I'm all in for the MurakixOriya pairing...otherwise known as Muriya, but whatever. *giggles* I remember, long ago...okay, around 2003...I joined this forum called GlompAnon.

Okay, so I got into some fights with a member or two while I was still sorta new, but we're friends now. We just lost contact.

Then I had..er...made a friend. Okay, so I was only, what, 11 or so, and I already have a Seme (dominant figure in a relationship)...she was a girl, but I didn't care. She was nice. And..well, we snuggled alot, nuzzled alot, made it public in the forums..you know. All that. o_o;;

I miss her. But, to be frank, that relationship was long forgotten.

And she was around 20 the last time I talked to her...3 years ago. Humm...haha.

Anyway..so, yeah.
Me=Internet cafe=Now.

Whee.

2006-04-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

.L.F.C.

Listening to:
Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh by Bright Eyes. (obessed)
rated: out of 3.

..It's alive. LFC is fucking alive.

For all those who are daft, LFC is a legion of mutant gerbil that joined me in my plot to rule the world--also known as Lucrecia Fans Club.

Yeah. I'm a sicko. Last time I updated that account was (ye heard it right. I run the place. That's how much I luff luff Luu-chan. But I'm no stalker since she knows about it and luff luff me too. *giggles*) last year. Like..how long last year? I dunno. 'Round July, August...*whistles*

Woo for dA smileys. (All smileys on forth belong to dA...'kay?)

Anyway. So..yeah. Updated the journal, added 31 of Luu-chan's drawings since September 4, added the new members, and informed all of the other members that we are now active.

...Whoa, dude. I love it.

I noted Luu-chan, too. She must know about my resurrection.

...I'm going to be annoying and use lots of smileys.

So it's already 6am here, and I'm still not . I usually sleep at around 7am nowadays, but today, I don't feel like it. Primarily because I'm wide awake and giggly.

Oh, and 'cuz I had some . <3 src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/spork.gif">
Ph34R tEH SPoOoOoORK!!!

...Fear it, damn you.

The dA fever has taken over me, folks. I'll be drawing 'till no end.
I...pity my pencil, trees, and my hand. Hoo. Yes, not woo. Hoo.

....Whew.

Last smiley before I go draw until Monica calls at 10am.

USE THE FORCE! *bows*

2006-04-03T22:29:00.000-07:00

.Smells.Like.Teen.Spirit.

Reading a doujinshi that Fernanda made. She's from deviantART. (Yeah, I know, I make too many friends in dA. But it's nice sometimes.)

...In page 13-14 of Oasis...there was a GaiLee pairing.

And she was like, "AHH! THE GAILEE!!! IT BURNS MAH EYES!!! ZOMGWTFBBQ!!! O_____o"

She's against the pairing. Me, I'm fine with it. Lee's like, a mini-Gai, and no one can't deny that. It's...haha. I'm jsut more of a LeeGaa fan, you know?

..............Okay, so I want to play Kingdom Hearts right now. I don't know why, but the sudden pairing stuck up my head: RikuSora. I mean, Riku is downright beautiful. And Sora is...Sora. So like, "Okay, sure..why not?"

I don't know why. Probably because I saw some RikuSora art. But..you know, from long ago, I didn't really want to play Kingdom Hearts (though I did) because it seemed too easy (and it was)...but...hah. I loved the Game Theme and Riku. Oh, and before Advent Children, hot Cloud was there, too. Hahahaha.

Okay, so yeah. Sephyyyy!! <3

Unfortunately, I already finished FF:VII, and I never do a game again after I finish it. Harvest Moon does not count, because BTN is way too long for me to finish. And after 8 years, what to do? *gah*

So I read this LeeGaa doujinshii as Titanic...

ANYWAY.
See how fucking annoying/giddy/happy I can be when I'm obsessed with these kinds of things, rather than rant and rant and rant about the shithole that is my life?

So I stayed up only until midnight last night (compared to the usual 7am=bedtime) after 2 hours of drawing. *sighs* It was a start.

Usually, when I'm inspired to draw, I take around 7 hours at a time. No, I'm fucking serious. I drew most of the characters I made in one sheet of paper, and without even coloring it, took me 7 hours to do. I...er..yeah.

Nothing much to say on that one.

But, I do remember drawing the same characters in a whole cartolina..which is like, 20+ inches by 15 or so inches. So..yeah. I penciled it in my room, got bored and went outside to draw it. Started around...12am.

Then, at around 2pm, the power went out. It was still bright, so duh, I'll still stay outside. Of course, until 5pm or so rolled in. I was still drawing, scrunching my nose and trying to see properly.

I continued (coloring it in by then) until around 8. I was using this big-ass lamp my mom lent me (because she thought the drawing was good and I must continue...I think she still wants to frame it).

But I finished it in around 6 hours and 30 minutes. I time my drawings...it's a habit.

So. Yeah.

I'll stop rambling.

But just a little fact: I draw better with The Killers blasting off my speakers.
*goes off and prances around the house* Ooooh, I found cartolina! *giggles evilly*

2006-04-03T04:47:00.000-07:00

.Ochisuita.No.Shunkan.

Lee and Gaa-chan!

Holy fucknut, I am such a retard. Oh, and obsessed, too.

It's all Daniela's fault! Not Dana. I'm talking about Daniela...as in, Luu-chan!!! :heart:

Okay, maybe you don't know who Luu-chan is. Luu is short for Lucrecia. It's her screen name. We met in deviantART around mid-last year, and has been friends since.

Luu-chan was an obsessed LeeXGaara fan, and did endless drawings of them together (she still does, actually..). Er..she's the one that influenced me. (Damn you, Lucrecia and your ability to make Lee shmexy!)

I mena, seriously. If you look at her art, Lee is so fucking sexy. Like, as sexy as Gaara. And she made an awfully good reason why they should be together.

It's called the 'eyebrow theory'. Lee has twice the normal amount of eyebrows, and Gaara has none. So together, they're perfect.

...God.

What the fucking hell.

But who cares. I'm in love with them again, and Julian's making me hyper!

Nobody could see me
Everything's too easy
Standing in the light field
Waiting for some actress to say
Why won't you come over here?

Damn you Julian.

*cough* Anyway. In the long hiatus I've had in deviantART, I forgot about having Luu-chan's link in my..er..links. I'm a bad friend. Well, I'll put her later.

The last time I talked to her was before I left dA. She was really depressed. I must suck so bad for leaving her like that. But I've sent her a few emails, hoping she's fine.

I don't think she got them, though.

But I'm currently reading her comic, "Frantic Fraility"...it's...fucking beautiful. I want to cry. Or...is it just my obession with yaoi pairings?

I still am not obsessed with Naruto. I refuse to watch the series, and am too lazy to download all the mangas I missed since Gaa-chan died and was taken by Deidara...heh. I just started loving the characters again.

I did try drawing Gaara again, today. Gaara, Lee, Haku and Neji. I must say, I am 50% successful.

Haku had this twisted smile on (I..really am no good at drawing smiles, except for Lee's stupid grins, or nice-guy poses), and Neji...was just ugly. Hahaha. In my eyes, at least.

I tried Gaara like, 5 times before accepting the fact that I fail in his clothes. But I managed to successfully do his face, much to my amazement. Lee is easy. Like, really.

I want my drawing skills back, if I had any. I want them back, damnit.

But Luu-chan's drawings and comics and words always inspired me to draw.

This morning, I fondly remember me staying up until the break of dawn, drawing until my hand falls off. And I lost those days. I miss them, though.

I want to be like that, again. Carefree, and unknowing to the world other than my own in my bedroom, with pencil and paper in hand.

2006-04-02T11:11:00.000-07:00

.School.Of.Freaks.

I don't know what's wrong with me today.

I've been...blankly staring at everything. I'm strangely sleep deprived. I'm reading GaaraxNeji fics (shamefully sexy, though). I'm down, disappointed, depressed, or just empty.

I didn't cuss the whole day...which is like, Hell freezing over. But I don't feel like caring.

I know it's contradictory to what I said, but I feel like bursting. Like, empty bursting. I want to cry right now, but nothing comes out. It sucks. It's like you're constipated or something, but worse. Really really worse.

And my right side hurts. Like, the whole right half of me. The right part of my chest feels like it's going to blow. My right shoulder is weak since yesterday, and my right elbow is not functional. Oh, and my right slipper is missing two fangs. Goddamnit.

Anyway. That has nothing to do with things.

I just don't feel like being the 'OMG xDD' person I usually am right now.

I feel lazy.

But today's like...super, freaking, ass-humping-the-couch-like-a-hobo lazy.

I don't like it anymore.

..Eh. Anyway.

Brendon sounds like Pat. Maybe that's why Pete introduced him to Adam? So now they're panicking. If you get what I mean.

Of course you don't.

And I'm too lazy to explain myself.

..I like airplanes. I like crashing them.

Oh, and my sister was talking about dolls today. I didn't really listen. But later, I did tell my mom and brother that I wanted a big fluffy tiger toy, like Hobbes in Calvin & Hobbes.

Just cause.

And my brother said I should get the ones with the big limp arms, so it's like they're hugging you. Holy shit, I want a huge-ass stuff toy.

It's nice having one. I want the fur so fucking fluffy that it disgraces clouds and kitties everywhere.

2006-04-01T10:55:00.000-08:00

.Touch.But.You.Can't.Really.Feel.

I feel sad now. Or bored. Or numb, because Matt just chomped on my right shoulder.

It's rare for me to post twice a day, but technically, it's not today anymore. *cough* Anyway, I just read this fic...Haa-chan and Gaa-chan.

I know it's not common with me anymore, but it's because of Monica. I called last night and she said that me, Haku, Gaara, Kimi-chan, Nee-chan and Lee should go on a trip. Like, beach trip. So we buried Gaara in the sand and he couldn't get his cookies. How sad.

Eh. Anyway. So..yeah. It's all her fault.

I'm not addicted to Naruto anymore, for fuck's sake. I just like Haku and Gaara.
Like, forever. <3

Anyway.

The fic I read, as I didn't realize until Chapter 5, was horror (yeah..I'm slow). Technically for me, horror in whatever concept, may it be ninjas or even robots scooping out your grandma's eyes, is pretty boring.

That's right. I just said I'm bored with horror.
I mean...I like watching scary movies like the next guy, because I like laughing at the gore. Yeah, call me psycho, whatever, who gives a fuck.

In SAWII, the very first part, where this guy had a mask that would snap shut in a minute or so unless he gets the key inside his eye, I was laughing. I was like, "Haha, it's in you're eye, you're going to die. Haha, hey, that rhymes, haha."

Anyway, yeah. I find horror movies comical. So don't expect me to scream like Jessica Simpson or Hilary Duff when watching a horror movie. Because, well, if they were guys, they'd be gay like Macho Men.

It's strange, isn't it? Macho Man sounds so gay.

*cough* Anygerardway.

So Gaa-chan's mom kept following him around, and he kept seeing dead images of Haku. ...Sound familiar? Yeah, I was like "I see dead people." Hah. I was smiling while reading it, though. (explanation above!)

But the end made me say the folloring statements: "Whoa. Wait, what? Uh...huh. Oh. Whooooaaa. Wait, what? Awww..."

All in one chapter. It was a pretty sight. Haha.

The ending was not your typical horror story.

Okay, so Haku died in Chapter 4 because 4 guys raped him, stabbed him and cut his legs off, and Gaara was killed in the end too by Haku's ghost, while he was visiting his mom's grave.

But in the end, when the police guy found Gaara, there was a fresh grave in the plot of land in front of Gaara. And his hand was buried in the new soil, holding Haku's corpse's hand. It's cute, and cool, and amazing, and it makes me giggle.

Last year, I saw only one GaaHaku fic, and that was even a sub-pairing (main pairing of course, was SasuNaru), so I only got to see Haku in the locker room changing with Gaara staring evilly at the people whistling. Oh, and it was a oneshot.

So now, I see around 3....and they're really long. It made my head hurt reading all of them.

But I did eeeet. :D

Oh, the first fanfic I read today was also GaaHaku. They were in this testing facility of telekenetics, so they were all being observed. And Gaa-chan was gay.

Yeah.

Make fun of Gaara and I will personally see to it that someone stabs you in the crotch with a fork. *holds up fork*

2006-04-01T02:17:00.000-08:00

.Nothing.Is.Real.

God, I'm happy today because of one small thing.

I'm like that, really.

Anyway, Jen decided to continue her story. I don't care if I'm being stupid, but I was just really effing in love with that story. It was so...almost typical, but in a not-so-typical way. It makes me giggle like I was some kind of Jessica Simpson. Which is bad, but I like the feeling.

It makes me smile alot.

And it's because of Erin. Jen's other friend, Brie, was angry, but Jen admitted that she had every right to be, and that she was being selfish. But it's mostly because of Erin. Wheeeee~!

<3

*sighs* I had to roll my eyes when Jen apologized, though. She made such a big deal about leaving, and she led everyone on. But nevertheless, I was effing jumping in glee.

*sighs again*

I love Tommy.

Just because he is so cute, and he makes fun of me. Yeah, weird. But in a good way that makes you smile even though he sucks. Haha.

Oh, and I'm on Neopets now...since 3 hours ago.

Anyway. It's...weird and it makes me annoyed (but at the same time, I don't mind because it's a good idea) that there is something called NeoCharge.

Technically, in human terms, it's tax. So if you travel around Neopia, they charge you some NP (15 was the largest I got so far..) just to prevent refreshing and refreshing.

Oh, and because in the NeoEconomy, money comes in 400% more than money goes out. So..yeah. TAX! To make things cheaper, easier, and make all happy.

You can only pay when you have 1,000NP in charges, though. I'm like, 400 something. Er..yeah.

But...you know, I played Wheel Of Excitement in Faerieland today. I won 10,000NP.

And for fuck's sake, money is so hard to make in Neopia. So..yeah. Whee.

Today rules Tommy's ass.

2006-03-31T00:31:00.000-08:00

.A.War.About.To.Break.Out.

Fuck people. Fuck the world. Fuck the internet. Fuck that girl behind that fucking regiaster that fucking types as if nothing fucking matters. Fuck people who take up space.

I swear. There are too many people in this goddamn world, to the point that they fucking suck. And even if there were only a handful of them, they'd still suck. They suuuuuck. I want to fucking kill them.

I had to get lectured by my effing mother just to get to the internet cafe, so I can play Rose and meet up with Monica online. Rose was really slow in loading, so I had to tell them to switch me to another computer, where it's faster. Because technically, I'm wasting paid time here.

They moved me to an even slower computer, that goddamn woman. Fuck them, I already payed a hundred bucks to play for 2 hours, and 30 minutes past, the game hasn't even loaded! So I did nothing for 35 minutes. I waited again on the slower computer, but nothing.

They gave me 70 bucks back. (P1=1minute) But still, fuckers, I did nothing and you give me no full refund? Screw you! Screw you and damn you all to hell!

So I said, isn't there a computer that recently played Rose, so it's faster to load? They said it's all full. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, it's all full.

So I'm like, "Fine, okay, just get me to a freaking computer and I'll wait for the thing to load." So they got me to another computer.

ROSE WASN'T EVEN INSTALLED.

WTF?!

...WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!

I even gave that bimbo behind the counter an evil look. I said, "I don't know what you're trying to do to me. Rose wasn't even installed in the computer."

Then she was all, "Really? There's no Rose? It's not installed?" She looked around in mock innocence. "Why isn't Rose installed? Oh dear."

Me: "Whatever. Just get me to a computer so I can at least tell my friend that I'm fucking not meeting her."

Whore: "Let's see..no, you already been to that computer...hm..no, none, there's none available. You'll just have to come back next time."

............

I hope a llama skins her to death and feeds her eyeballs to her grandmother. Then her skinless corpse rots away in the mountain provinces, where horses and cows poop and step on her. Then she was mistaken for grain and is led to a processor, thus grating whatever was left of her pathetic little body into pieces and bagged and shipped to the other place, where her family does not realize that she is gone and skinned and pooped on and shredded and bagged and shipped and eaten and dead.

By a llama.

God I hope that happens.

......

Still hoping.

I hate today.

And my mother's missing, so I can't even go home.

For FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS??!?!??!?!

Most especially today.

God.

Why does this happen to me, when I thought it would all be fine and I can talk to my beloved best friend.

I hate this.

I'm even rambling, but that's how I am when I'm angry.
God do I hate them.

2006-03-27T22:13:00.000-08:00

.Can.You.Say.Woot?!.

I GRADUATE!!!

Yayayayay. <3

Erm..yeah. Okay. I'm done.

I'm downloading like crazy while the computer is in a great mood. In fact, this isn't even my computer. I'm in an internet cafe today..because...er..yeah.

I already downloaded: (i like blabbing like this)
Wings Of A Butterfly (HIM), Build God Then We'll Talk (PATD),
Jude Law And A Semester Abroad (Brand New), And Love Said No (HIM),
Everything Is Alright (MCS)....and damn, too many more.

God.

I was laughing my ass off the whole time during the graduation ceremony.
I kept making comments about random things to my seatmate.
Her laugh made me laugh, 'cuz it was funny.

*giggles*

So anyway.

Uhm..yeah.

Today was seldomly good.

Nothing really huge happened (I still can't really realize how 'good' they say it is to graduate. I'm just like, thinking it's another day when I just wear my gala and go to the theatre. That's it. Nothing huge, no nervouseness much, but..yeah.)

Nothing really bad happened, either.

I think. I hope.
Well, my parents were late for the cermony. I wasn't. Heh.

Uh..yeah.

Uhm. Hm...it's summer.
Yayayaya.

But I hate the summer. It's all hot and stuff. I hate it.
Boobooboo.

I ate Oreos today. Because I'm random, and that was the first thing I ate as a highschool student.
Yeah boi.

God I'm so bored.

Oh, and Chrissy 'gave' me her old profile layout...a layout I've been trying to know how to do, but was unable to. Bless her georgous soul.

2006-03-25T07:16:00.000-08:00

.12:51.

Julian, I love you. Just know that.

Eh...oh, and I keep repeating this thing...when he videoed a bus ride. Man, they must have been so bored. Jules was pretending to voice Nik as a rap god or something. And at the end of the video, he said "Oh shit, there's no sound...oh shit. Oooh..kookoo, party time! Yo, Trixie! ..What am I doing?"

*giggles* He's so funny.

So anyway...yeah. As quoted from my sister: "You need sleep. I was already waking up, and you were just going to bed. Then I had to wake you up for a movie."

...I need sleep.

...Like, badly.

This sucks.

I'm tired and sleepy, but I just took a 5-hour 'nap'. Haha. Is that still a nap? Probably not. But...at least I was able to fall asleep. I couldn't even close my eyes these days.

Julian's making me feel better.

Casablancas, mind you. *giggles*

Anyway, before that, I was playing Castlevania: Curse Of Darkness. The environment was in 3D and it was so beautiful. I especially like the Save Point Rooms. So. Effing. Pretty.

The only thing I hate about it is, that it's so detailed that you really can't remember where you came from. And camera rotation is manual. Argh.

At least the movie before that was good. Hector's so hot. And I forgot that other guy's name. He's funny. And...I dunno.

...There is a fairy hovering over Hector. *giggles* Kinda out of place.

Sigh. My tummy is upset.

My brain is upset.

I am upset.

But anyway, like my sister said, she woke me up for a movie. Nanny McPhee. In fairness, I liked the movie. It was funny, and there really were lessons to be learned there. It isn't usually my style of movie watching, but it's okay. It was a wonderful movie.

I like Simon. He's cool.

And Evangeline is so sweet. The movie's cute, really.

*sighs* Anyway...

I also bought stickers today. *laughs* Yeah. Jackass and The Used stickers. Of course, they gave me the wrong The Used sticker (there were two of them on display and he took the wrong one), so I'm going to give it to Melisa, 'cuz I know she just adores Bert. Haha.

And as a friend, you know? Besides, I already have that design on my folder. So why have another one?

...I'm bored.

I'm finishing surveys off like mad crazy.

I'm reading a story, too. Another vampire story. God, I haven't read one of those in months. It's always about the girl that falls in love blah blah. But whatever. Castlevania made me..sort of, want to read vampire stories again.

I suddenly remembered old stories I read. They were so greusome. I was crying for this one character. God, I still remember that vampire's name. Virgil. He was so sweet..he almost didn't belong as a vampire. And his lover had to watch him die so horribly.

I feel sad for him.

*sighs* And this story is about another young-king-turned-vampire named Gabriel. And a reincarnated, I assume, girl named Rezzel, who looks like and is named after his wife, who died at 18 of childbirth. *shrugs*

It's okay. Kinda nice, kinda not, but okay. I've read better ones. Chapter 12 is kind ascary, though...Gabriel's angry 'cuz Rezzel's boss had brought an angry mob up to slay him. Eek.

But enough about that, you ahve no idea what I'm talking about.

Oh, and I finally got to read the next 4 parts of A Cosmic Perspective. Great job, Sno!

...And Julian keeps saying/singing the same thing. I don't mind. It's beautiful.

2006-03-24T07:41:00.000-08:00

.My.Life.In.This.Sweet.Surrender.

Stupid song.
But I love it anyway.

Aerosmith...again. Gack.

......Don't wanna close my eyes...
Don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I'll miss you baby...
And I don't wanna miss a thing..

Arggghhh. Eh. Whatever. I still like it. *giggles*

...Oh, Green Day's on.
King For A Day! Woo!

Humm...today...was....half shit, half not shit. Or so.

I was chatting with Ravy until 3:00am yesterday, and I was just lying on my bed after that, listening to EOPN. (God, I love that song) So I fell asleep at around 3:30, because..being bored, even if you're not tired, makes you fall asleep. Uh..I woke up at 4am.

I found out that my new cat just took a shit and pissed all over my converse...three of them.
What are the odds.

I was so infuriated with that freaking animal...

I know it's just a stupid cat that lacks intelligence, and probably didn't mean it, but who the fuck cares, YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO MY PRETTY LITTLE SHOES. I'd sell my cat for a pair of Chucks. Like I care, anyway.

...Now I'm listening to Bon Jovi's Bed Of Roses. ...Like, whoa.

Anyway. I'm returning the cat to my cousin, who bred him for me.
I don't mean to be rude. I like animals.
But you just don't do that to MY shoes. I worship my shoes, and you should too.

I ended up crying because of that. Just a few minutes after I wake up, I cry again. Oh, screw this day to hell and never make it come back, because it doesn't deserve to.

Petty, perhaps. But like I said, I worship my shoes.
Then I had them cleaned. Eh.

Now my Chucks are spotless. DAMN IT.

I hate that cat.

I know I traumatized it with my screaming. It wouldn't come out of it's cage.
But who gives a fuck. I'll never go near kitties again.

..............

Ergh.

I'm listening to Vindicated now.
Some words sound slurred, if you listen to it really closely/loudly.
But who cares. It's beautiful.

And it's Spiderman/Flippyman's theme song.
Oreo Jane loves it.

God that was gay.
But who cares.

Oh, no, scratch that. I'm listening to Bat Country now.
Fuck, Shads rocks right now.

Okay, enough about the beautiful, beautiful music.

...I forgot. Geh.

I went to a class party today. It was fun.
And Ms. Martinez flew by. She was fun.
We made her bring home half of a huge ass pizza. And we just scribbled love notes on the box.

Haha.
And she is officially called 'Ria' by people in Starbucks..meh.

Okay. I'll go listen to Aerosmith again later.

2006-03-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

Hi. I am Spiderman.

I'd like to be a taking ferret and amuse everyone.
I love Ria. She's my love.

~~~Ray~~ Spiderman.

2006-03-23T08:06:00.000-08:00

.My.Life.On.Standby.

God, this week was so fucked up. And it's not even over yet.
1) Graduation practice a.k.a. HELL
2) Teachers threatening to not make me graduate just 5 days before 'the day'.
3) I lost all my friends, I'm not going to the Batch Outing.
4) And my brother turns 20 tomorrow, and I'm going to a party with my classmates, caring less whether I attend his dinner party or not.
5) And I got a cat.

I named him Matt. Then I watched Inuyasha movie 3.
I renamed him Sesshomaru. Haha.
But I want to name him Synyster. (BRIAAAAANNNNNNN!!! *love*)

I'm listening to Aerosmith right now.
They're incredibly good, honestly.

I am such a download whore. I just finished:
Dissolve And Decay : Hawthorne Heights Mixed Tape : Jack's Mannequin
Autumn's Monologue : FATA Bleeding Mascara : Atreyu
Teenage Dirtbag : Wheatus Season : The Acedemy Is...

I STILL have to do:
I Write Sins, Not Tragedies : PATD Lights And Sounds : Yellowcard
My Eyes Burn : Matchbook Romance Anthem Of Our Dying Day : Story Of The Year
and Punk Rock Princess : Something Corporate

Geh. So..what, this could be some kind of checklist now. Haha.

Anyway..

I'm also talking to Ravy right now. God, I missed her.
*sniff* So fucking badly. Fuck.

Like...fuck. I just wanted to say that.

Ravy suggested we kill someone. That's a wonderful idea.

Oh, and today was so creepy. Ravy keeps teasing me about it. But she stopped now. Thank god. So...yeah.

Record straight: I'm straight. I think.

Wahaha. I mean, now I am. Screw women. They're just a bunch of hoes anyway.

Me and Ravy are genderless coffee-drinking hippies who bitchslap people and listen to Aerosmith, so we don't count.

Hoot. So now I'm listening to Dashboard Confessional. Before Aerosmith, I was listening to Teddy Geiger, FFTL, A7X, and the constant ringing of YM that means Ravy sent me a message.

Oh, and I was talking to Grace a while ago. We were talking about how we love Zacky and how he and Syn could really make a great couple. But no. Brian is mine.

I listen to too much music that it can choke me.

But who cares. Music rules.

I was lucky enough to have brought a CD to school a today, so after a little talk with Monica and crying my eyes out, I listened to Shads and Sonny shout their lungs out. *sighs*

They are so freaking beautiful.

2006-03-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

.Snowmen.Rule.Hell.

Lookie what Ravy sent me in a testimonial.

Isn't it pretty?

And she got me addicted to Straylight Run. My brother said their records are being sold here...somewhere. He didn't answer me when I asked. Wow. How thoughtful.

I'm listening to Existentialism On Prom Night right now.

And I tried to kiss-up to my uncle so he could tell my parents to get me DSL. Because my computer is crap, and the internet connection is just jackshit.

I tried downloading Mew's Am I Wry No, and even got to 77% in around 30 minutes, but...then my connection got terminated, and it also stopped the downloading. Fuuuuuuck.

Let's emphasize the fuuuuuck.

We were late 20 minutes for church because I was still trying to download EOPN. Hah. Serves them right, since I couldn't go to the mall today because of effing Church.

Eh. I know. I'm bad, and God is good, blah blah, but I'm not disrespecting God. I'm just hating the fact that I missed something because I had to do something else. *mumble* And they tell me that I'm not forced to go...when I ask them if I can't go because I'm lazy, they say that I SHOULD go, and CAN'T NOT go. WTF.

Anyway, I think I succeeded. I hope. Because all he said was, "Yeah, I'll tell them." But I know he's told them a gazillion times and they still won't listen. I even told him that, but he said that he'd get them for good. Ehh....I hope. If not, I'll just sleep in my uncle's garage so I could use their internet. Because it's DSL. Mrgh.

Think of it as benefiting all their children in ways like faster downloads! But do they care? No.

*giggles* Ravy told me to hurt them with a spork. And I probably would. Unfortunately, all my sporks were confiscated. Boooooo.

Let's make an artificial one with parsnip and Peter Pan.

*sighs* Eh. I can live with it, I guess, but I really just wish for an easier time with this thing. *points accusingly to the computer* I mean, isn't supposed to make life less stressful and stuff?

I'm pretty laid back in school, not really being stressed (I only call myself busy sometimes because I have alot of things to do...which I'm not doing. Haha.) about stuff. I more of like..don't care what's going on in life, and I just want to have a good time while I can or something.

But then this jackassed motherfucker of a machine came into my life. It gave me good times when it felt good, bad times when it's hot and slow, horrible stressful times when it's horrible and stressed.

So Matt decided to kill it.

2006-03-09T00:16:00.000-08:00

.Superman.

I'd just like to address something very briefly.

It's regarding Dana Reeves' death.

Uhm...it's just so downright sad. I mean, just a year and a half ago, Christopher died, and now Dana. It's just so freaking sad.

Their poor kid, Will, is just 13 and now both his parents died.

It said in the paper that he's in the loving care of his friends and family. Which is great, because his friends and family really are loving, but what about how Will feels?

I have more pity on the kid rather than Dana.

*sympathy*

2006-02-21T03:41:00.000-08:00

.The.Goodness.Of.A.War-Criminal.

I shall now be known as Oreo. But be warned. No one else is allowed to call me Oreo except for my dear Flippy. You dig it?
__________________________________________

I'm too addicted to Wild Arms 4, that it's unreasonable. Even for myself, I think it's too much already.

Yesterday, I went home and dived straight to my bed and grabbed the PS2 controller. Then I played from 5 to 11pm, when I had to stop for like an hour because I was stuck on this one puzzle and I was so frustrated. At 12, I turned it on agian and played until 3am. When I just had to go to sleep, because I felt like it.

It's just unreasonable.

Especially when there is only 15 days of school left for me, then I'll be highschool (I hope). It's bad. Very bad.

I didn't study, I was too lazy to do my homework, to review, but I rushed it anyway, because I cram like that. All the time. Sometimes, I don't even bother studying.

But anyway, after this, I have to play it again, because once I got home I remembered how to do this and that in the game. So there. Happy.
_________________________________________

Another thing I'm happy about is Ravy. Or shall I say Flippy? (She's my Flippy, bitches.)

She broke her leg after a jerk (which I sent hate-waves to) pushed her off a stage. Then I sent her love-waves. She said she felt something.

Cool.

And she told me a bunch of other things. I feel so great for her. It's so cool. I wanted to jump around the house, giggle like mad, and at the same time, cry and say, "AWWW!!!!" and then give her a big big hug.

But I don't think it's in my right to tell you what she said. But anyway, it's great news. It's wonderful news. I'm happy. And she's happy, too, so that makes me happier.
__________________________________________

I read something. And now I feel bad about going to Hong Kong with my mom in April. I mean, I've got a dozen reasons why I'd rather not go, and only one idiotic, general reason why I want.

Why I DON'T want to go:
1. I don't eat any Chinese or Hong Kong food...'cept for fried rice. So it'll be hard to feed me.
2. What do I do there, besides spend money? I'd rather not at the moment.
3. Walk around with a near-cripple? No way. It'll slow me down.
4. I'll have to be good and shit, and I'm, typically, too lazy and not caring to do so.
5. What if the plane crashes on the way there?
6. What if we can't find a place to stay?
7. What if we run out of money?
8. What if the plane crashes on the way back?
9. What if we lost something, like a bag, and lose lots of other things (like the contents, duh)
10. I hate big crowds, boring things, and things I can't understand.
11. I can't even go to Disneyland just because my mother can't walk that far. WTF.
12. I can't talk to my friends, and be forced to talk to my mom? What. The. Fuck.

I told you it was a dozen.

Why I want to go:
1. Boredom. I'd probably have nothing better to do on April 7th. But on the 8th or 9th, I'd think of something to do. I might still be playing Wild Arms, or addicted to something else.

BOREDOM. Boredom is the reason of my failures. My fantasies that never really do come true, and the reason for my fall.

It's always cause of boredom. Or lazyness. Or just plain nothing.

I don't want to go to Hong Kong.

I feel too guilty.

I want to give the opportunity to my brother.

2006-02-17T23:17:00.000-08:00

.I.Know.You.Are.Near.

Hey there.

It's been a long time, yes, I know. But...eh, I've been busy. I've also lost internet time, so I couldn't go online. And I never found the right reason to buy any.

Eh...yeah.

I just got Confirmned today.

I wasn't doing much during the ceremony, but me and my seatmate were just making fun of random things we saw. Like, the teachers, the bishop, our feet. Stuff like that.

Well, yeah. I got 9000+ bucks richer, and 2 more presents expected during my birthday and Christmas. Hahah.

I'm spending the 1000 now. Somehow. Argh.

Yes, I'm at the mall. Right now. With Frans.

I left my 'Confirmation Party' in my new shirt, with my...err...money. Hah.

I won't lie and say I don't like shopping. I may not like shopping for clothes or shoes (with your mother or family member hovering over you, you wouldn't think it's fun, either!), but I like shopping for nifty trinkets, accessories and shit like that.

I like buttons.

I made a Ric Flair and Blink182 button.

Then I ran out of money.

But that was yesterday.

*sigh* I'm running out of things to say and end up pressing 'Enter' far too much.

Plus, I'm not in a typing mood. I'm in a money mood. Hahaha.

2006-02-05T02:34:00.000-08:00

.Once.Called.Mischief.

Man, I can't believe I forgot.
Happy belated birthday, Sonny! c: From loooong long ago. Pah.

Pshhh....I'll be busy.

I signed up for the FBR (Fueled By Ramen) Street Team, which promotes bands such as Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Panic! At The Disco, The Gym Class Heroes, The AKAs, The Academy Is...

Er...yeah.

And today has been spent for nothing except that.

Oh, except for that fact that I finished watching Bullet In A Bible. Man. That was cool.

Yesterday, though, I spent the whole afternoon doing a cheesecake for fun. I did most of it. Mom helped. Yeah.

My brother ate it today. He was in pain. He said it was really good, though. His salivatory glands just over-react whenever he eats cheesecake. Honest. I don't poison people.

Err....yeah, I don't. Hee hee.

2006-02-02T00:43:00.000-08:00

.My.Eyes.Burn.

I'm a total douche bag. o_O;;

I was supposed to write everything that happened ever sicne my abscence...but I forgot them. Sadly. ._.

Oh well..

Nothing much happened today, 'cept that I used my new clearfolder, because my old one couldn't take the abuse anymore. I keep it with me everywhere I go. I throw it against a wall, blah. Hahah.

Oh well.

I'm addicted to Avenged Sevenfold now.

Gosh.

And My Eyes Burn : Matchbook Romance.

Hahaha.

2006-01-24T23:48:00.000-08:00

.Another.

Another night spent crying and screaming,
With the music blasting from the player to drown my dispair.

Another night spent crying and screaming,
With the thoughts of pain and anxiety clouding my mind.

Another night spent crying and screaming,
Hugging myself for security...
...With my back against the bathroom door.

...And I'm not writing a poem.

Why do I even bother trying anymore? Everything else refuses to change, when I try my hardest to change for them. I try my hardest to reach what I could possibly reach, but they just step back and bring it farther father away. And I'm about to fall off from where I'm holding onto.

It's unfair.

Why do I try? I can't tell. I don't know. I want to keep trying, but...

When idiots remain idiots, and nothing remains as nothing, trying will always be trying. It never will become a success. Never.

It just gets worse, and worse, and worse.

2006-01-21T14:41:00.000-08:00

.In.Line.

Hi there.

Yesterday, I went to see Mick Foley.

Oh, I saw him alright. And he even waved at me.
He's hard to take a picture of, with all the police and all the reporters...plus, he's a fast walker.

But...things went so wrong...and I ended up crying myself to sleep last night.
But I won't say why. This post will just remind me of the incident, and the time that I met Mick Foley. c: *smiles a little*

But...I just realized. People hold me back. If I was alone, I could have done it. They just didn't believe me, and decided to add a weight on my shoulder. You know the saying, "If you want things done right, do it yourself"? Well, it's absolutely true.

I hate people. I fear people. I don't like people.

I want to be alone.

But...why do I keep needing people?

2006-01-21T14:40:00.001-08:00

.The.Coolness.Of.Being.On.Fire.
.STAR-STRUCK.

January 20. Oooooh man, it was so fun. Lemme run you through the day.
(January 20, is, as some of you may know, the Grade 7 Legacy concert night.)

So I woke up at 6:15...which is bad, because I asked them to wake me up at 5, so I can take a bath and prepare all the stuff that I may have forgotten the night before. Plus, I had to eat. Absolutely no time to do anything if your bus picks you up at around 6:35 or so.

So after a little bit of argument with the maids, I asked my mom if she can just bring me to school, and never mind being late a little while.

So I took a bath, ate, and dressed up. We were off to school at around 7.

I got to school 10 minutes late. The CL teacher kicked out the people who hadn't brought a Bible (which is utterly stupid, because the Bible is not a requirement and when he gives the lecture, he always emphasizes: "It's the love for God. Bringing you Bible, is one way of showing that you love God." ...good GOD, man, we can love the Lord without the effing book with us all the time!), and they were all sitting by the lockers, near the Family Area.

Me, Iya and Monica were together with alot of other people.

So anyway, after we were asked to go in the Family Area, we had singing practice, which was annoying...and after that, was asked to go back to our rooms. We were called back outside, and was forced to practice a song over and over again under the heat of the sun. When we finally got it right, we were asked to go back again, and I was walking with Frans and Monica, randomly chanting, "The electric fan's my best friend...the aircon is my lover...Alaska is my...uhh."

We changed into casual, and I just remember staying in the classroom for around 1 hour.

Anyway, so we stayed in the classroom again, practicing our dance (in which I was actually having a bum time, because they moved me to the front formation of a dance that I really didn't memorize...I was snobbing everyone, even a classmate that really was trying to make me laugh and smile. I pitied her, but she should know that I don't budge easily...until I was forced to smile a little after she did a very sensual and erotic dance move in front of me. Thanks, Gwen.) for the next 2 hours, when we were called to the Multi-Purpose Building to change our positions.

Which sucked even more. I was in front of every dance routine. Not really, but very well seen.

But when we got back the leader decided that she had to change the 'Goodfoot' positions, because alot of us were not happy with it. She asked for 8 volunteers, and the VP of the class insisted that I raise my hand. So I did, and Dana, too. We were to be in the upper stage, which is better than my last position, in the field...at the front. So anyway, cool.

So we get back, more dance practice for 3 hours (it was around 2pm then), before we got it right.

Then we were called outside out in the sun again (but it wasn't as bad, really), to stand up on stage and show the teachers our dances one last time.

But while we were dancing, it was the Highschool departure time. Sad. I saw a few people I really didn't want to see. They were watching out in the distance. But I tried to ignore them, and ignore them I did, before someone suddenly mentions them again. Shit.

Then we proceeded to spending the next 4 hours fixing our hair and makeup and stuff.

I'm no girlie-girl, but I like my hair to be neat, just as much as anyone else. Of course, I can't resist putting on eyeliner and eye-shadow. So anyway, I was about to consider a curling iron, but too many people were in the line before me, and I just am not fond of waiting very much, if I can have another choice.

So I borrowed a straightening iron, and straightened my hair and kept using the iron...for a total time of roughly 30 minutes. Heheh. Uhm..yeah.

So after that, makeup! Woot.

I got my eyeliner pencil first, and put 2 layers below my eyes. Then I got some liquid eyeliner and lined the top and bottom of my eyes. Then I got my trusty, trademark red eyeshadow and put it on my eyelids. Then I borrowed a blush-on brush from a classmate, and used the eyeshadow, brushing it over my eyes. So my eyes were like, glowing pink and stuff. (I put a little silver eyeshadow, too.)

I did that for the next 2 hours, getting everything fixed and things.

At around 4:30, we were served McDonalds for dinner. eat eat eat.

Then we were asked to change into our costumes at around 5. *cough* Section two's costume, you see, is white silk pants, a silver Obi belt, silver headband made out of the same material as the belt, and a white shirt that had silver lettering in the front and back with out names. Of course, white sneakers, which me and my mom argued about the day before.

So at around 5:30, I kept looking at the clock from time to time, screaming the remaining minutes to everyone in the room, which makes them scream as well. And all falls silent again until I look at the clock once more and scream.

Phew. So, legacy. At 6.

We were waiting in line for...like forever, beside the stage, waiting for our cues. After we sung the Philippine National Anthem, we sung our gospel song (the one we were practicing before), and went down, sitting at the front of the stage, watching AV Presentations...it was funny, because sometimes, they get the names wrong. A classmate that has the name 'Tiziana' was mistakenly captioned as 'Virginia'...but the next picture she was in, the name was correct. And it's all really funny.

So section four was dancing after that. Panic panic, because we were next. We got up on stage the way we planned, and danced the way we planned, I guess. Mom came up to the side of the stage and was all *clicking* with the digital camera.

After I was done dancing, I grabber the camera from her and watched section 1 and section 3 dance, until Stonefree was the band going to preform first.

I went with Frans and Dana to the classroom AVR (Audio Visual Room, unless you lack a brain), ...where all the celebs/special guests were. Eeeeek.

Frans mentioned Sam Conception. I've seen his younger picture before, yes, and I didn't exactly like it. But when I saw him now, I was like...(in tagalog) "Who's that sitting over there? The one talking on his cellphone! Is that Sam??".

I couldn't help my fangirlishness, really. He's just hot in my terms...and my age. Haha. I took lots of pictures that were ruined, because there were too many people, and he kept moving around. Even our personal pic was ruined, because I couldn't stretch out my hand from the many people. Thus, it was too close.

But I got a few good pictures, though.

But what got me really flustered yet excited was...he looked so much like Jio. I met Jio last December 3, 2005, and many people have really been teasing me that I have a crush on him. Which mught be true. He's just so...interestingly perfect. Like...he's 15 (two years older than me), goes to Ateneo (GO ATENEO! WOOOOO!), is a great singer, a great actor, seems really nice (I've talked to him, and he was okay. Alot of people then said he was a little snobby after they talked to him, though), is hot, athletic and...well, is in the honors class! Can you say 'perfection'?

Here's how much they look alike. Jio's pictures are on the left, and Sam's is on the right.

But I actually think Sam is wonderfully perfect, too. He's a great singer and actor (heck, he's famous for it!), is hot, my age, and tall. And he really is nice. Really. He's funny, too. But Leoren pointed out one fact to me, that I noticed eventually. He has feminine hands. I want his hands. Hahaha. And when he sings, he really sings. And for me, it's really good.

Anyway, yay, autographs. After Sam, I went back to the concert becasue he was singing, and took more pictures. After which, I went back to the classroom with Frans and caught Cueshe, following them BACK to the concert fields, and went on singing all 12 songs of theirs.

I had a few pictures with one of their vocalists, Jay, who is totally hot and cool and nice, but reminds me of a 6th grader in school that I'm not exactly fond of. But all is good. I got his autograph. One of my classmates even got his ID, and his number. Can you say obsessed? But I actually would like his number. Too bad I didn't think of asking.

I even got Ruben's autograph, Cueshe's lead guitarist/vocalist. Har har. Hee hee.

So...yeah. After that was MYMP...which I didn't watch, because I was with Frans and Dana, hanging out at the AVR, and eventually ended up walking around and finding Alexa's mom...which we runned away from.

We had to find Alexa, and I practically didn't care I wasn't her friend anymore. I know her mom and she's the devil times 666. We found her in the MME kiosk, and told her about her mom and stuff. Alexa even warned me about what her mom made her do. Which shocked me. Gah.

You see, in school, Alexa was absent for 4 days, and went back to school having rebonded hair, plucked eyebrows, and an over-all...prep vision. Her mom made her do it. She said her mom was crying something like, "Oh my baby girl is becoming a bad girl and it's all my fault!" She got that right. But what did she do?

Her mom gave Alexa care and support in everything she did...NOT. She had Alexa change everything with force. She told her that me, Frans, and Moncia were bad influences, and made her wear pink and skirts forever. She BANNER her from wearing any kind of black, and any eyeliner and such. Plus...BANNING HER FROM WEARING CONVERSE. For god's sake, what kind of mother fucker (or fucking mother) is she?

So me and Monica (and Alexa) tried looking for her mom, because Alexa wanted to face her. (She was wearing a black shirt, her converse and her pants, so....) But we got sick of waiting and decided to go back to the MME kiosk. BUT...

I could see her mom's hippie hair-do from a gazillion miles away. Hastily died ORANGE (though the mom says it's blonde. What are you, colorblind?), and straightened to the point that it looks burnt (it's all crimpy) and dead. Plus her pale, not perfect complexion. Pwe. And she was wearing black, when she even told me that she "hates black. But (she's) 38 so (she) could wear black." WTF. Who gives a shit if you're 38. You're OOOOOLD. And 13-year olds can't wear black? Heh. Die in hell.

So I silently pointed her to Alexa...whom had to go there, because she had an angry face at ME, so. Eh. I could really care less if she hated me. I just hated her.

Anyway, we didn't get to hang out with Alexa anymore after that, because she was forced to sit down and while her auntie takes out her Corn-row hairdo and straighten her hair again. Pwe.

So...yeah. Me and Monica, Leoren, Kat, Ara, Melisa, Cheska and Pat were just hanging around. Yes, Pat. I didn't talk to her though. She was just there, while Cheska (her best friend) bugged me.

So Monic had to go to her parents, Ara and Melisa had to go somewhere, and Cheska and Pat went to their parents already. Leoren and Kat decided to go home, and I followed them, taking a detaour somewhere and staying with Monica, who was sitting at the bleachers.

My parents and sister wanted to watch Retrospect (the last band), so we had to stay a little more.

Me and Monica were just singing along to the retro songs. Dancing Queen, and Buttercup...haha. After which, I saw my parents stand up and tell me that I'll go home.

So there.

I got home with my feet (seriously) about to collapse and kill me. And I lazily took a bath, trying to get the glitter Stacy's mom applied on my eyelids.

Then I fell to bed, still up a few moments because my feet still hurt. When the pain decreased a little, I finally managed to sleep. *sigh*

There we go.

And today, Mick Foley's in the Philippines! I'll just convince my dad if I can come, because I feel so totally STAR-STRUCK! Hahahah!

2006-01-17T22:56:00.000-08:00

.You're.More.Beautiful.Than.The.Last.Rose.Of.Summer.

Oh, I'm sooooo scared. So bad that I'm crapping in my pants!

Alexa said that Pat said that she wanted to wreck section 2 after what she read! And I bet she's really angry at me! And she hits so hard, and she is some kind of monster!

I need protection!! I need to get out of the country, change my name and live a new life!
I am so scared right now that it's not funny!.......................

NOT.

I couldn't care LESS if she fucking hated me. We've fought before and I won. But that's not the point. I only won that fight for a friend...who is now not my friend. But anyway, now, I don't give a fuck if I win. I just don't intend to lose.

And actually, I've been hit by her before. I'm not saying that it didn't hurt, it just didn't hurt ENOUGH for me to say that it hurt. Eh.

And who cares if she wrecks section 2? I'm probably not there anyway, and I bring my clearfolder (a.k.a. everything) with me almost all the time. And I hate that section just as much as she does, so WHO EFFING GIVES A SHIT?!

Monster? Hah! Tall, pale, skinny monster, that's what. The last fight, Alexa told me how she was talking. Her voice was cracking, and she was all, "Ria's just...tough! She's....TOUGH!" and I laugh at it. But she'll have to tone the violence down, since her mom works in school, so HA-HA.

~oOo~

-cough- Anyway, that dipshit douchebag worth of a person isn't worth talking about much.

I'm a happy camper. Haha. Yeah, that explains how unphased I am about anything these days. I'm laid back, an obviously too lazy to get upset. Hee hee.

I'm giggly.

Main reason: He Teases You Because He Likes You... MY ASS!
by: narcoticglitter...

Part 10 is out, and I read it yesterday, and it was just so effing emotional! I wanted to kick Harley in her invisible balls, and I wanted to throw a stuffed toy at Tommy's head for being so stupid. And I wanted to be there when Rachel was so sad and...yeah, typical Formal Dance drama. It was so nice.

Anyway, there's another reason! Hahaha.
I'm Tele-WHAT?! I wonder what HE's thinking...
by: pretzel-princess

Oh man, part 22 is out, and I'm reading it right now. It's...making me all teary-eyed. Ooooh. Adn I'm getting scared and excited! All the things are starting to add up. But I hope it's not the end yet. Wait, lemme just finish reading it...
Okay, it's not over yet. But....AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Whee.

I like being a fangirl sometimes. It makes me want to stick my tongue out at the bad side of the day, because I'm happy and they can't do anything about it.

Hee hee. HEEE HEEEEEE. o_O;; Uhm. Anyway.

ITWIWWHT...is so sweet. I wuv Tanya. Tanya made it. Tanya rocks.

And oh, it just dawned to me. Jennifer is my age. When I read her profile again, I was like, WHAT? o_o;; But anyway, I wuv Jennifer. Jennifer rocks. c:

Cool. Uh...yeah. I'm in Netopia right now. Before that, at home, after school, I was redoing my Quizilla homepage. My HP had too much HTML, and updating was a total drag. And it's all black and red. I can't stand it.

So I made an image background (after getting pissed at Frontpage and giving up on my Yellowcard layout), a black base, with the CorelDraw image stamper everywhere.

I had stamped Notes and Post-its, butterflies, foliage, some bubbles, popcorn and a dice. Oh, yeah, and paperclips. And I wrote on the notes and intend to keep changing the middle/biggest sticky-note as updates for new parts, etc.

ANYWAY....woot.

I'm finishing the series You're My Heaven In Life And Death: Ville Valo
by: Bamismyidol22.
Whee. Its up to part 50 at the moment...I'm on part 48.

...For fuck's sake, computers hate me. Even in highspeed broadband, the internet is effing slow to reveal the next page. Damn it. When it was just getting exciting...*waits impatiently*

Okay. Now that that's done, on to more realistic things.

I'm walking up to the mall's top floor, right, when a store catched my eye. I glanced there, and stopped in my tracks.

An Anarchy bag.

OMG.

It's a bag with an Anarchy on it.

It's an Anarchy bag!

OMG.

I went tot he store, and looked at it longingly...I couldn't find a pricetag, though. I looked at another bag and it said 599. Maybe it's 599? Cool. I'll ask my dad later.

Then I walked around the shop, looking at the uber-cool t-shirts. Why didn't I notice this store before? So weird of me.

While looking at some shirts on the racks, I looked to my left and saw a manequin. A dark colored, dread-locked haired, manequin, wearing green and had a few piercings. But oh, no, it wasn't a manequin. It's the most raddest Reggae man I've ever seen. And he was staring into space.
Cool.

So I went to the other side of the store and looked at the other shirts. Yay shirts. When a woman was leaning down opening cabinets and stuff. She got what she was looking for and rose, looking at me. She had a lip piercing, eyeliner and brown/black lipstick.

I was thinking, at that moment, "Oh my god, I love this store. I am so spending all my money here."

But I was about to ask her on what the price of the Anarchy bag is...but I'm intimidated. Eek.

Found a Nightmare Before Christmas bag, and shirts that had Reggae, punk, but no Anarchy. It's only on the bag. *twitch*

So anyway, I was looking at the tons of shirts that they had. I saw a Good Charlotte: Young and Hopeless t-shirt. FANGIRL-ism. Even though I was only whispering, "Ooooooh...", inside, I was saying *cough* screaming, "OMFG, A Good Charlotte t-shirt! I will force my father to buy this!! Even if I can buy it myself, but...eh...I'm scared of the salespeople!"

I'm such a wimp. XP

2006-01-14T23:07:00.000-08:00

.Love.

I'm excited. Or am I just weird like that? Being excited over a tragedy. Over an utter mishap that should be detested, forgotten, or merely melted using a microwave.

I'm talking about love, my darlings.

I'm not going to talk too much, because she and he might hate me for saying parts from their particularly private lives.

At first, I was on her side. Detesting the creature that had mistreated her. I plotted revenge plans for him for like, an hour and a half. But then, he got online. And I'm not going to continue.

I'm still on her side, because I love her.

As for him...I'm giggling.

This is one big love story. It's amazing. It's funny, sad, everything. She let me read their chats, and it was so emotional. It made me teary eyed.

I'm weird, I know, but on the bright side, Ravy said:
"Weird is like midgetness. It's adorable for certain people."

Hahaha.

2006-01-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

.The.Freckles.In.Our.Eyes.Are.Mirror.Images.

For my birthday in 2006, Frans got me Green Day's new live DVD, Bullet In A Bible. And it would have been all good...'cept for my birthday being on August. Sad. Very sad. But who cares? She gave it to me now anyway. Hoo haah! The plastic's open (Frans and her nephew watched it already until they were sick of it...then they gave it to me. It's okay. I mean, I made her give it to me earlier!) , and it's in a new-ish shape, so it's okay. No big.

I'm excited to watch it.

I'm also excited to play Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life. (Special Edition, for the PS2) Most of my internet time today had been spent on looking for tips, because last night, I tried playing, but it was freaking hard. And I was pissed...sort of. I was still happy that I was playing...on the PS2! Hee hee. Okay. o_O;

MELLYSE WAS ONLINE!!! WHOOOOOOO!!
I'm happy. The last time I got to talk to Mellyse (who lives in Texas, USA) was 3 months ago, according to her. We met in Gaia. Been friends since then. We'd usually spend hours on the internet, RPing nonsense, hentai even (Oh god, I still remember...), anything like that. And she's just fun. It was fun.

I'm happy. Sort of.

A very tiny thing is bothering me, but I can't place my finger on it. Specifically. But that's okay. Mellyse sort of covered it. Aahhh...brings back so much memories.

I checked on Gaia today, too. They changed so many things that I'm practically lost. Gaia would be addictive again if only I could catch up. But no. No more hope. Hee hee.

Anyway...I'm practically bored. The CLE project...well, we had little progress today, but it's the most we've ever made. I just hope my own stupidity won't take over my sane half.

I NEED to be responsible for once. Ack.

It sucks. Help me.

2006-01-03T07:37:00.000-08:00

.Free.Fall.

We got home from Baguio today. Erm...our car is "illegal" on the day we left, so we could only reach Manila after 7pm. Which was terrible luck, because dance practice for our legacy on the 21st is 1pm-8pm. Very bad. Filinvest Clubhouse, they said. When I told my mom about it, she was all smart-ass-like and said, "Which Filinvest? Do you even know? There are dozens of Filivests in the country! Geez."

I shrugged, then remembering that I'd promise to go so I could bring a report to one of my classmates for our Social Studies project. But noooo. I could fail right then and there. But I couldn't talk to my mom anymore about trying to let me go. It never worked like that.

Anyway...I'll just worry about the project on the 5th, when school is back, and blame my mom. It's true anyway. *shrugs*

I finally finished Heaven's Rogue by: Colleen Shannon. I didn't want it to end, though. So beautiful. *tear*

I tried starting a book...uhm...forgot the title, but it was by Lisa Kleypas. I was just too lazy, and set it aside for next time.

Anyway, I'm addicted to another story in Quizilla.

You Are My Heaven In Life And Death [Ville Valo]
BY: Bamismyidol22

It's just...so...err...yeah. Cool. Heheh.

Today was reasonably uneventful.
Nothing fun. Nothing very bad, I guess.
But...eh. That's how life is.

2006-01-01T22:58:00.000-08:00

.Shit.Happens.Too.

..Song..
Demolition Lovers : My Chemical Romance

But let me rephrase that title. Too much shit happens. And I'm sick of it. But what can I do? Nothing. It just makes the world suck more.

Well, okay. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like shit. I had to go to the bathroom really bad, but my brother just got in to take a looooong long long shower. And it's cold out here in the province, so it'll take longer. I tried ignoring the stupid urge and go back to sleep...

...To no fucking avail.

Once he got out, I ran to the bathroom, not caring that it's dark and I can't see, and I almsot tripped on his shoes out on the 'hallway' I'm walking through.

So I went back to sleep after that.

So I woke up another 5 times and kept going back to sleep. At the 6th time, though, I got fed up and decided to continue reading a book I found, Heaven's Rogue by Coleen Shannon. It was interesting. So anyway, I kept reading until lunch and I didn't want to stop.

My dad shouted at me to go down, so I finally did. I wasn't hungry. I'm practically never hungry when it's lunch, but no one cares. They made me eat anyway. My dad stood from the table and went away, not saying another word.

I was supposed to go to the mall today, and I am in the mall already. But before that, after lunch, I went to the room and dressed up. Dad suddenly came in and shouted at me, sayign that I should respect him and when he's talking I should be proper when I answer...or simply answer. Because during lunch, he was talking to me, and I was pissed at him. So I didn't answer.

That brought me back to last night. I was online and doing something. He sat beside me and started looking at what I was doing. I lowered the screen. He then started lecturing me about being respectful and shit. That I am so disrespectful in front of my parents, my grand parents, and other people like that. But I didn't give a damn because I was just thinking about what I was doing online. I was troubled with what I was doing, basically.

But...*sigh* It's fixed, I think, and I'm very happy.

But anyway, so he continued. I shot something at him and he got more angry and stuff. Saying, "What, now I'm a menace? I'm just annoying you? Oh, okay." So he went out of the kitchen, coming back an hour later, smiling at me like the sadistic creep he is.

Then I just stared at him, lowering the screen again. He touched my chin, and I jerked my head away. Then he lightly punched my forehead. I just stared, waiting for him to get out.

"Dare try that again." I said. "Harder."
He punched my forehead harder. When I just kept waiting for him to go on out. "Harder."
He did punch my forehead with force, but it didn't bother me. "Harder. Just dare."
And he flicked my arm. "Yeah, just go on while I go back to work."
Then he went away.

ANYWAY. Back to today. So after lunch and shit, I had to wait 2 hours for the lazyasses called my family to get ready. Me and Jordan were already just watching The Longest Yard...and finished it. And we even got to watch the Deleted Scenes twice, and the Bloopers.

Even a part of Supersize Me. Heh. Anyway, we were just waiting for my mother downstairs, when my grandfather cmae up to me and Jordan and offered us a ride to the mall. I was supposed to go with my parents, but who gives a shit. They were slow anyway. So me and Jordan got on the van. My parents didn't even notice we left. How sweet of them to care...

...Not.

Anyway, so my grandfather dropped us off...10 blocks from where we were supposed to enter the mall. So we had to fucking walk all the way. Jordan even wanted to take 2 large flights of stairs instead of the entrance.

God wants me dead.

And so...we went tot he internet cafe. They had this shithole waiting list. I signed up, and Jordan dragged me to Watsons 3 floors down. He doesn't want the elevator, so we took the escalator. Tired. Tired. Tired.

We got to Watsons. I checked for my favorite chocolate bar. Out of stock. Screw the world.

But I tried looking on the fucking bright side. I'd just wait, and I'll be happy when I get online. I waited for Jordan, who was lining up. When suddenly, I'm With You : Avril Lavigne came on the large radio.

God is fucking screwing with me, before killing me. This is how he gets his sick kicks.

And now I'm here, trying to get Ray to sleep. And I succeed.

Ray made my day.

My crappy crappy day to prove to the world that 2006 will not be any different.

This is the dawning of the age of aquarius...!

2005-12-31T23:19:00.000-08:00

.This.Is.The.Dawning.Of.The.Age.Of.Aquarius!.

..Song..Vampires Will Never Hurt You : My Chemical Romance..

Uhm. I'm sort of blank at the moment. I just felt like I had to post something for the sake of...anything in the world. Like, every goat will get chicken pox if I don't post something. Or all the cows will die of steroids or something like that. But to save the goats and the beloved cows, I must......bah.

Or maybe just because it's the 1st of January, and I'll never have a 1st of January every again until next year. How sad. I had the most boring New Year. No fireworks. Can you believe that?

I was online when it was New Year...12mn sharp. But then I heard the constant honking of the car horn and I was irritated. Then my brother came in the kitchen and started banging pots and pans together. So that's when I remembered...it's New Year. Oh, joy.

The gayest song in the world (but..hey, it's the funniest.) is stuck in my head, and I'm trying to drown it out with My Chemical Romance or something. So not working. ....Okay, it worked.

For Quizilla news, uhm...it's a bit late to tell you, but I wrote chapter 2 and 3 of Beyond This Wonderland...on December 28th or something.

Part2 was just the start of the Christmas party, and chris introducing his friends to Ray. Then something happened, and Christmas sucked and stuff like that. I felt like I had to write Part3 right after that, because it's technically still Christmas. So...meh.

After that, I got into a writing mood, but was not ble to think of anything for Part4 just yet. so I decided to make a CastOfCharacters as PartX. Eh. Then I went to sleep, because my head was throbbing from looking for pictures. Especially Chris. They had to be hot.

Guess where I looked?

First, Google. Useless for particulars.
Next (and fortunately, last), AllAmericanGuys.com.

I was giggling. Hee hee.
What? Porn? No, no porn. Just...male models.
And I was giggling.

...

Giggling, I tell you! *gasp*

2005-12-28T13:23:00.000-08:00

.it's.not.our.fault.if.death's.in.love.with.us.

I'm not going to apologize to anyone for being who I am on my turf/blog.

I get to write what I want, and you get to read which parts you want to.

I never forced you to come here and pry into my personal life. I mean, I don't mind, but if you bitch about my bitching, well then fuck you.

You got problems with me? Live with it. I'm not changing for no one.